Thursday, October 11, 2012
Yesterday was my mom's eight month anniversary. I still can't believe that my mom has been gone for eight months. It is unreal not to be able to call her or get cards in the mail from her. She used to send me cards and stick stickers and write stuff all over the outside of the envelope. That would make me laugh. I miss getting post dated birthday and Christmas checks from her. She had to post date them because Christmas and my birthday both fell before she received her monthly Social Security check. A couple of weeks ago I wanted to make a family recipe and burst into tears when I realized that in my haste, I threw a folder with a bunch of recipes in the recycling bin. I called one of my aunts, who thankfully had the recipe. I had to find a new proofreader for my research papers- she did that. I lost my sounding board for when things were bad or when I just needed some guidance.
People say that time heals all wounds. I don't know about that. I am still trying to process and work through my loss. I have good days...I have bad days. Some days I miss my mom tremendously, other days I can function without feeling the sting of my loss. There are days when I can look at her pictures on the wall with just sadness, other days I burst into tears and wonder why she was taken at only 62 years old.
I would rather have my mom when our relationship was at our worst (teen angst), than to not have her at all.
I miss you mom!