Binging and Sleep Deprivation?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I want to start out by saying that I am not ignoring all the wonderful supportive comments I have received on my Scary Place blog. I am just kinda chilling about the whole thing right now and want to give them the proper responses. I can't begin to tell you all how amazing it makes me feel that I have such great friends here on spark that I am able to get that kind of support.

I am still not feeling 100% myself yet. My usual, get up and tackle the day like the superhero I usually feel like. I have been trying to analyze things each moment of each day and let me tell you, it is exhausting! I need to relax a little bit and just focus on one thing at a time. Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of eating I have had since I started SP. One of my Sparkfriends referred to the fact that I was on auto pilot and auto pilot likes to eat. This made such perfect sense to me. So I need to break free of that cycle in even small ways. That was why I did the exercising last night. It was late, but I knew even if it didn't make me feel like a million bucks and like things were going to be back on track, I figured I wouldn't regret it and it was something that that old me wouldn't do, which I felt was breaking free of auto pilot.

I also am wondering about how much my sleeping habits right now are playing into effect. I am still going to bed at the same time and waking at the same time, but I don't sleep well at all. I hear every sound that goes off in my house lately, probably deep down due to knowing how my daughter is feeling. The other issue is with my shoulder. I am using a heating pad when I go to bed, which helps a lot with the tightness and dull pains I am feeling still. Then I wake up when it has cooled down and heat it back up again. Last night it was very painful and I took meds in the middle of the night along with heating up the pad three times. This isn't how I can live for the rest of my life. So, next week I have a billion appointments with daughter, hopefully we will get a schedule for her and then I can move on to taking care of my shoulder. I also should probably make sure I am modifying any moves I am doing on my opposite days from running. I am sure doing the JM dvd last night didn't help my shoulders much at all. Anyhow, I am tending to get up at six and get the big kids off to school and then sit on the couch. Normal me, would be up making my own breakfast and tea when they left and then starting my day. The past few days I am sitting on the couch, nodding off if Samuel isn't awake or mostly he will sit with me and cuddle in and watch a movie. When I wake up from a nap, I notice I have a hard time making good food choices. I have NO clue why this is. But I do KNOW for a fact that when I was at my worst two years ago I was in this same pattern. My big kids would leave and I would go back to bed until 8-8:30 and then make horrible food choices.

So, I vowed not to do that today. I made myself stay awake and though I did rest, I wouldn't let myself nod off. It is a catch 22 though, on one hand I NEED the sleep, since I am not getting any, but on the other hand the sleep isn't my helping my inner person (or outer person if I keep eating that way) so I have to try something else. I am hoping that maybe after a couple of days I will be ready to crash at night and go to bed super early and fall asleep. We will see how this goes. I am going to finish up here and do some Pilates (not anything with legs though, I think that isn't helping my runs lately, which have been horrible as well.....) and some Qi Gong which I tried the other day and really enjoyed. Then it is my "funnest" day of the day! Did some last night, but still have enough to do along with getting Samuel to the library and daughter to an xray appointment! Woohoo, off we go, I hope you all have a wonderful day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Keep it up girl!
    It's a bad phase, for sure, bad the way you are gonna handle is what you're gonna remember when it's over.
    Hope your daughter feels better emoticon
    emoticon emoticon
    1984 days ago
    While life seems hectic for you right now, you are on the right track with everything! It is so easy to put our child(ren) first but you should try to find time to take care of that shoulder.
    1984 days ago
    To an extent I think you need to stop worrying about slipping back into old habits! Worrying about it, is just further adding to your already extremely situation. Give yourself a break. If you need to take that nap then take it. Being sleep deprived is not going to help you or anyone else in your situation. As far as eating worse after a nap, it could be the way you are napping. If it's too long of a nap. Next time you wake up from a nap, take a moment and tune into exactly how your body is feeling. Are you sore? Does your head hurt because you slept too long? Are you more stressed because you were dreaming about your current situation?

    You have soo much to be proud of, keep reminding yourself of that. Instead of worrying about slipping into old ways, just keep in check with your body. It takes your body a year of being at your new weight for it to reset itself. And if you do manage to gain some wieght back, that does NOT make you a failure. Life happens and gets in the way. I know that is much easier said than done.

    As for your daughter, I can't understand what you are going through but I can understand what she is going through. Biggest and most important thing you can do for her, is be patient and make sure she knows you love her.

    I also can't stress enough, that you too should look into some counseling of your own. I saw some sb mentioned it on your last blog, but I really do think it would do you some good. Being healthy is as much about your mental being as your physical if not more. Depression effects those around it, not just the person experiencing it.

    Don't be afraid to blog when you feel the need to go to the kitchen cabinet. It will give you an outlet and allow you to really break down what your feeling.

    Take care! and Take a deep long breath!
    1988 days ago
    Very good! You're on the right track. emoticon
    1988 days ago
  • AMBER281
    I hope things get settled for you soon!
    1988 days ago
  • DALID414
    This too shall pass...
    1988 days ago
    Not every week (month) can be easy. It's great that you've recognized your trouble signs and are trying to "be good" and not let it get the wetter of you.

    And that, right there, makes you stronger than you were before.

    Keep on keeping on. Do what you can. In the end, things will work out.
    1988 days ago
  • MY2GIRLS0205
    Every attempt to change your auto-pilot is a step in the right direction, and every step will help you feel just a bit better. I am having the same issue of not being able to sleep. I work 65 hours a week, plus with the kiddos, I'm exhausted! But I'm lucky to sleep more than an hour at a time without waking. I know how wearing that can be, so know you're not alone there either!
    1988 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/11/2012 12:45:20 PM
    I hope everything gets better or more settled real soon. emoticon
    1988 days ago

    With everything you have going on, it isn't unheard of for you to fall into a little bit of depression. Bad foods will happen. But as others have said planning, and trying to stick to healthier foods and getting some excerise in will help your funk not sink to far.

    I do know some people that can't nap during the day because they don't get as good of sleep at night.

    I hope your day looks up!!!

    1988 days ago
    A nap during the day won't hurt and you need to catch up on your sleep sometime or it'll play havoc with your thinking.
    Have you tried taking a paracetamol tablet before going to bed. When I get shoulder pain it seems to ease the transition into a sound sleep.
    But I would certainly get it checked anyway, treatment now could save pain later (that's a given) and it'll get you to sleeping soundly that much quicker.
    Try planning your meals a day in advance and stick to them, if you're finding energy levels dropping allow for small snacks of 5 smaller meals instead of 3 main ones (if thats the case).

    Hang in there hun, you'll beat this, you just need to catch up on some shut eye emoticon
    1989 days ago
    Awwww Dearie, I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be all better! I'm thinking that with your early napping and then out of control binging, you could plan your food ahead of time and then your napping would be your reward. Plan healthy meals and snacks and then rest. Wouldn't that make your rest all the better?! I hope you have good, better days ahead! emoticon
    1989 days ago
    You might want to put a damp towel on the heating pad. I work for a chiropractor and that would be what he would recommend. Also a warm-hot shower would be helpful.

    I hope you get better soon.
    1989 days ago
    I just went through three months of shoulder and neck pain. The doc said it felt like rotator cuff with pain spreading up and down my arm. I didn't want to take meds for it and even though I am a skeptic,I did six sessions with an acupuncturist. With that and the turmeric ginger supplements that I take religiously (which he recommended as an anti inflammatory)... I have no more pain...and my fingers are no longer swollen. Good luck to you.
    1989 days ago
    Firstly 'normal you' is who you are now, the stronger and healthier you.

    Just wondering if the shoulder pain is worse because your are holding tension in your neck/shoulder area. I know I have more trouble with my neck when I'm stressed. Also wondering if cooking and preparing as many meals as you can for the next day might help you resist temptations. I started off cooking my porridge the night before and now when I cook the evening meal I make breakfast and lunch for me and my husband, I even put the fruit with my yoghurt ready to eat so I can just grab it the next day.

    I hope things get better for you and your family soon, you are in a stronger mindset now so with a little careful planning things will work out for you emoticon
    1989 days ago
    Oh sweetie, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. "bibbity-bobbity-boo"

    Just hang in there. A nap shouldn't hurt if you take it early in the day but try to keep your schedule as normal as possible. (I know you know that but a reminder doesn't hurt).

    Things will get better and as hard as it is right now, life will be so much better on the other side of this.
    1989 days ago
    1989 days ago
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