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RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

> RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
> ==============================
================
>
> For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think
> you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough, you will
> see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean,
> and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's
> from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get
> a chuckle or two reading them once more.
>
> RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
>
> 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
> beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I
> go on Fridays.
>
> 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and
> mine is in Texas.
>
> 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way
> back.
>
> 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
> She said... 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' So I
> suggested the kitchen.
>
> 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
>
> 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
> bread maker. She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
> to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.
>
> 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there
> was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She
> told me, 'In the lake.'
>
> 8. She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the
> mud fell off.
>
> 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for
> the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'
>
> 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
>
> 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
> Always.
>
> 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
> interrupt her.
>
> 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's
> on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'
>
> Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were
> the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four
> letter word... It was just clean and simple fun.... And he
> always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless.'
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THROOPER62 10/11/2012 5:38AM

    emoticon Loved the show

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STITCH4EVER 10/10/2012 1:51PM

    I LOVED THAT MAN! REMEMBER "GERTRUDE AND HEATHCLIFF"? THAT WAS MY FAVORITE. HE WOULD MUSS HIS HAIR UP AND FLAP HIS ARMS AND MAKE THAT STUPID FACE. NOW MY DAUGHTER SAYS, "WHO?" IF I MENTION HIS NAME. I SEE THEY HAVE A SET OF DVDS COMING OUT FOR CHRISTMAS OF ALL HIS BEST PROGRAMS.
ERIN

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LOSER05 10/10/2012 1:27PM

    emoticon

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KOFFEENUT 10/10/2012 1:00PM

    He WAS a great entertainer - thanks so much for the reminder of the time I spent in front of the TV watching his program as a child!!!

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ALICIA214 10/10/2012 11:38AM

 

I loved that man... used to watch his show every week.Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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