I'm feeling so angry with myself.
Yesterday I took a break from running. While I felt guilty, I was glad that I listened to my body and slept in a bit.
Today is another story. I got up at 5:05 (cuz 5:00 is too early (
), I drank a big glass of water, got dressed, went to the kitchen and got my bottle of water ready for after my run, and then it happened. I went to the basement and hit the on button for the tv, nothing. I turned the light on above the treadmill and tried to turn on the treadmill, again nothing. I checked the breakers and they were all fine. I checked the surge protector that they are both plugged into, NOTHING.
So I went upstairs. I was going to do some ST and try a cardio video. I have zero coordination when it comes to cardio workouts. (I LOVE to run and it isn't affected by my lack of coordination.) I really don't like doing ST if I've not run a bit before and gotten my heart pumping and a little sweat going on. So....
I just gave in...I went back upstairs. Took off my workout clothes, took out my contacts, put my pj's back on and crawled in bed. I completely gave up.
When I had to get back up to take my shower before work, I gently woke my partner to let her know because she's started walking 4 mornings a week and I didn't want her to get up expecting to be able to. So she stayed in bed and I got on my not so merry way.
On my way to work she told me she checked before work. It was the GFI on the outlet. The one I DIDN'T even see. It's the same color as the outlet instead of being red and black. I can deal with missing that but I'm having a really hard time with giving up.
I know I shouldn't...it happens. But it also scares me. It's part of the old me. And I don't like that. I've come too far to go back now. I have to figure out how to deal with this. I'm relieved that I didn't post my goals for the month because I'm sure to not meet them. What's worse is that it's the 10th and I haven't posted them. I have a week of vacation this month and I'm not sure how much I will run and I want to make the goal attainable so I've put that off. This is yet another OLD habit. If I have no goals I don't fail.
UGH! I don't like this me.