Playing tug of war... mentally.
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Well it has been a little while since I wrote anything here. My weight loss is still going great. I know that I am winning each time I choose to workout and with each good choice I make with my food. This blog is going to be totally off the weight loss topic. When we went on out vacation in August, we decided that we would be moving our family to Tennessee. I am having a very hard time being excited about it. My problem is that I cannot make everyone happy that is involved. My parents do not want us to go. They have not spoken one word about it since we told them we were going. I kind of see where they are coming from. I was away from home for 10 years before coming back. They are used to us being here and I know I would miss them so much. On the other hand, my husband is so excited about this and sees it as a great opportunity. I want to support him 100% and I know if I tell him that my heart isn't completely in this, it will just start a fight and he will completely shut down. How do I always get stuck in the middle? What do I do? I just feel like I am playing this mental tug of war and I don't know which side to play on. I have a lot of big fears about this move that far outweigh any excitement that I feel. I finally have a wonderful job, a really great friend that I would miss dearly, and I love being near my family. None of them are really happy for us. I feel like if they would show some kind of happiness and support that maybe it would be a little easier to go. I sometimes feel like I should just tell my husband to go by himself. I sometimes wonder if he would just go without me if I told him I didn't want to go. I know that he should come first over my parents right? See what I mean...back and forth this is driving me insane! I really need some quite, me time. Gotta sort out these crazy thoughts.