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Decisions, decisions

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Tuesday, October 09, 2012

I get home from work and I'm starving. So ok, I'll tell you something you don't already know. Don't put me off my stroke.

Hit the kitchen, fast. Ravenous.

However, there's a problem. I want to get sparking, I want to put my day's calories in the food tracker, I want to find out what everyone's been up to.

I want to cook dinner as well.

Three months I've been on SP, and only today has the solution occurred to me. Call me slow. This is the reason you got wifi, you twit. So you could cook in the kitchen and do stuff on the net at the same time.

Don't say 'nuts'. Works for me. Sparking with one hand and cooking with the other. Here's how:

One laptop, battery fully charged, switched on, logged in and raring to go
80g risotto rice
About half a litre of hot beef stock
Portion of wifi
100g mushrooms emoticon
One onion, finely diced emoticon
10g grated parmesan emoticon yes I know that's emmenthal, stop being picky
50g cooked beef left over from Sunday's roast emoticon yes I know that's not a roast, see previous note about picky
Glass of wine emoticon
NB: do not, repeat not, try this with a laptop connected to mains electricity. Just don't. Or with a laptop you are particularly attached to.


Open friend feed to see who's been doing what.
Put onion, rice and a slosh of stock in a saucepan and stir.
'Like' all the nice things your sparkfriends have said today.
Keep stirring pan. Do not stir laptop.
Look for interesting blogs and comment on them.
Add further slosh of stock and some salt and stir.
Add food consumption to food tracker.
Add tablespoon of wine and drink the rest of the glass.
Look to see if anyone has commented on your own blog.
Stir some more, hitting laptop with elbow.
Open sparkmail from particular sparkfriend.
Keep stirring till rice is no longer chalky in the middle but before it gets squashy.
Reply to sparkmail.
Tip risotto on to plate.
Examine new sparkgoody.
Sprinkle with parmesan.
Carry laptop to table
Ditto with plate of risotto and drink.
Attempt to eat while continuing to read replies to your recent posts.
Drop risotto on laptop.
Use unsparkly language.
Finally decide to eat then spark.

Even sparking cannot come between me and my dinner.
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