Monday, October 08, 2012
So I will warn you, this is more of a release of thoughts than an informative weight loss post.
I just got back from Miami and I had an AMAZING time! I caught up with some college friends. We had a really good time. But....I did notice something quite peculiar. I am the biggest of my college friends, wearing a size 10, i.e. DOUBLE digits... The other wears maybe a 4 and an 8.
[ETA: In college I wore an 8. Now I wear a 10... so it's not that big of a change but significant enough because I'm a short-y ;) ]
Miami is all about looks and while I am somewhat satisfied with my over all appearance (I have a curvy shape, I am fit, I am capable of running 5+ miles at the drop of a dime), I do realize that I have weight to lose. And again, I am working hard daily to get the pounds off. So, I decided to make the best of my current size 10 and try to enjoy this vacation to the best of my ability.
So, the peculiar thing I noticed was that I was darn near INVISIBLE in Miami. My size 2/4 friend got double takes, my size 8 friend who is married got a few looks, and I... well.... let's just say I'm glad I don't completely compose my self-worth on my perceived desirability by others! Maaaaaaybe a few looks but basically I (felt I) was non-existant. I'm not saying this from a jealousy stand point... I am more curious as to when did a size 10 make me undesirable?
I do hope to be back in the single digits soon. I'm ONE size away... but I have really got to start getting the weight moving because more than anything I want to be comfortable in my skin. I don't want to feel like fresh meat at the meat market BUT I do want to feel at least that men find me some what attractive.
Has anyone else had this experience? I'm still focused on my journey because I do realize that eventually the weight will come off... but geeeeez I just wanted to hope that LOOKS (or size) alone were not the only thing that attract men. But men are visual creatures... so maybe they want to Visualize a smaller woman! LOL
OH, I did go on an amazing beach side run in Miami... Running in the sand is HAAAARRD!
Ok, I just wanted to vent.