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    VAPIDWENCH   12,053
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A-Z(umba)


Monday, October 08, 2012

I've written before about how I'm not much good at zumba. "Not good", she says - I'm nigh on hopeless at the moves, constantly out of time and red as a beetroot before the warm-up's even finished. I love it though; we've an infectiously happy instructor who makes everything fun.

I live in a rather rainy little country called Wales, where it's done nothing but bucket down for days, curtailing any nice country walks and making me feel a bit lazy. Zumba was going to be a chance to shift up a gear, or so I thought. It's no stretch to say that I'd been looking forward to tonight's class all weekend.

Before I venture into tales of misadventure I should make clear that the zumba class is held a leisure centre, the Rec (wreck - literally, there's a hole in the roof where the rain falls in), and said leisure centre is the place were all the little miscreant kids with nothing better to do hang out. I don't know why; there's a skate park and an actual park just around the corner, but for some reason they choose to congregate in the car park.Yeah, they're real rebels.

So, I'm in my class with the rain pouring through the roof, everyone is boiling from all the jumping and dancing, the external doors are opened and I happen to have nabbed a place near them (hurrah), except all of a sudden a gang of kids congregate practically inside the damn doors. Whistles, cat calls, jokes...

I don't have the thickest of skins (despite the physical evidence to the contrary) and it made me feel really awkward. It's one thing to look like a total lemon in a class where everyone is too busy concentrating on themselves, another to have an audience. Everyone around tried shifting their spots and ignoring the boys, thinking they'd go away, but no. We must have been great sport.

There were enough of them that marching up and closing the doors would have been problematic too. I'd have moved except, I'm too bloody stupid and I didn't notice that in the end I was the only one bouncing around (to my own rhythm) in a vast ocean of absent people.

I felt really humiliated, I'm 30 and still getting bullied by children! I was annoyed at myself for not having more confidence, being authoritative and confronting the boys. Eventually one of the staff members noticed, came over, spouted some choice language and slammed the doors. Everyone breathed a palpable sigh of relief and shifted back to their original spots. I tried to make up for my drift in concentration and lower energy levels, and I came home no less red or sweaty than usual, but it spoilt the night a bit.

Tomorrow is kettlebells, in a different venue, and I'd like to see the idiot child who cat calls an angry lady swinging a bit (not really 4lb) weight!

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