10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 14,325

Results from Week 13 & the Negative Side of External Recognition

Monday, October 08, 2012

I was doing the happy dance yesterday -- not only did I re-lose the 2.5 lbs from before, but another 2.5 lbs was gone, too! Five lbs and a total of 35 lbs down :) While I was more focused on my goals during the week, part of this loss was due to water weight. Female hormonal fluctuations really wreak havoc on the scale...

I find myself wondering when other people are going to start to notice. My husband has been able to see and appreciate the differences for a few weeks now, but I have not had anyone outside of my immediate family ask me, "Have you lost weight?"

Part of me is relieved about it because I am not sure that I want people commenting about it. It does embarrass me to think that I am being scrutinized, plus it adds a layer of pressure. The negative tapes whisper, "If they notice and then you fail, how can you face them?" Ugh, I hate those negative tapes. Why does something positive like external recognition have to feel like a negative?

But it's going to happen sooner or later. My mom is coming in a couple days to watch the kids while I am at my conference, and the last time she saw me was over the 4th of July (just before I started on SP). She also knows that I have been walking when I am on my marathon phone calls with her. I haven't mentioned weight loss specifically to her, but I know she will see it. Whether or not she comments will be another thing. She loves and supports me no matter what, but I don't know if I want her to say anything.

And then there is my husband's family, who I haven't seen since Memorial Day. By the time Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around, I will have lost more weight, and they are sure to notice because they pay attention to that sort of thing. I really don't want them to -- not only will they analyze everything that I choose to eat, but they may say something to my husband and ask him when he is going to lose weight, too. Yes, he would benefit from losing, but I recognize that it has to be his choice, and I will wait patiently for him while continuing to be a mostly good example. He doesn't need the added stress from them.

With all the positives that this journey has brought me thus far, negatives like this keep cropping up in my mind. I am certain these are part of the reasons why I have not been successful in the past. I just wish I would get to a point where all aspects of it feel great! Or is there always a "dark side?"
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _BABE_
    Its a double edge sword this getting recognized for weight loss. I remember my sister in laws mother commenting back when I was 30 about my weight loss ( at the time I lost 77 pounds). Right in front of everyone she asked how much I lost and then editorialized it was a small person......PEOPLE. emoticon
    1984 days ago
    Isn't it funny that we want the acknowledgement, the pat on the back for losing weight, but not the pressures that go along with it. I always feel once people know that they are just waiting for me to fail...but this prob is the farthest thing from the truth, and if so who cares, it doesn't matter what others think. I've lost 100lbs and very few people have mentioned my weight loss, so either they don't notice or they just know how many failed attempts I've had in the past and don't want to falsely congratulate...I'm doing a blog on this next week, still working on it in my head!

    Congrats on your loss and just wait to knock their socks come holiday season!!
    1984 days ago
    Kudos to the pay-offs for your efforts!

    1986 days ago
    Way to go on the weight loss.. I know how you feel that sometimes you would like people to notice.. it is like that poster I have on my page.. it takes 4 weeks for you to notice 8 for your family and 12 for others so keep going.. LOL.. but serious they notice.. good thing that you do too..
    Keep up the good work..
    1986 days ago
    My opinion: There is not always a "dark side".
    When they comment on your loss say "thank you". Don't feel like you need to explain yourself. When they comment on your food choices, just think of a smart come-back :)

    When they have junk food around at work I always say "too bad it's not Friday, I'll only eat junk on Friday", or something equally "smart".

    Beat them at their own game...
    emoticon emoticon
    1987 days ago
    I can totally relate.. Sometimes I get uncomfortable when people I know ask me if I am losing weight. I also don't want them putting me under the microscope and watching every move I make and watching for me to fail... or looking at my food choices, etc. I don't know exactly how.. but I am developing a thicker skin about it here recently. Way to go on the weight loss!!!!
    1987 days ago
    You're right - having people notice your weight loss can be a mixed blessing. At first I couldn't believe NO ONE had mentioned it (hey, it was 25 pounds!) and then it seemed like EVERYONE mentioned it (once I hit 30 pounds gone). I finally had to remind myself I was losing this weight for ME. Whether people noticed - or didn't - was immaterial. I'm not dieting. I'm making healthier choices. That means no one can judge how I'm eating today; I'm doing what works for ME.

    Hang in there!
    1987 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.