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    BETHYB1981   6,570
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Starting Over...Day 1...Again!


Monday, October 08, 2012

I have to be honest with myself...the past few weeks have been horrible (as far as my healthy lifestyle is concerned). I have gone back to old habits...eating massive amounts of sugar, eating fast food, not keeping up with my food journal, not exercising like I should, and making SO many excuses for myself. I'm too afraid to even step on a scale at this point. I'm not going to lie, at this point, I'm feeling pretty crappy about myself and my behavior related to my health issues lately.

Honestly, I'm starting to get to a point where I just don't care anymore, which scares me. For the past 4 years of my life, my health has been my main focus, and I've had SO many ups and downs. It's absolutely exhausting to have to think about every morsel of food that goes into your mouth, which is what I feel like I have to do to be successful.

However, all of that being said, I know that I HAVE to do this. I refuse to go back to being the "fat" girl who relies on food for comfort and happiness. I found myself actually saying out loud last week that I think I was happier when I was at my heaviest, because I didn't have to worry so much about all of this. But I know that's not true. I was MISERABLE then, and I do not want to go back to that. I'm not going to lie though, I'm not feeling very motivated, but I know what I need to do...I'm hoping that the motivation will return soon so I can get back on track!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PUDLECRAZY 10/9/2012 6:36AM

    Stay resolute. All of us have our ups and downs, so you are definitely not alone here. Sometimes it helps to go back to the first step and do a re-start. For me, getting outside and exercising helps because it gives me a mood boost. When I get depressed, it is much harder to stay on track.

Baby steps,

emoticon

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LADYJ6942 10/8/2012 11:53AM

    Been there, felt that. With all the stress lately that I've been under I can relate. Then I remember how tired and sluggish I felt. How much my skin broke out and how tight clothes felt. I refuse to go back, I may not track every morsel but I choose the fruits and veggies over the french fries and grease. Hang in there, you can do it, you now the positivies of doing it.

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PRINCESSCHUBBIE 10/8/2012 11:35AM

    This is how I feel too. Keep moving forward. You can do it! If I can be a friend or support to you let me know!

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KKARENKM 10/8/2012 11:18AM

    pick yourself up, learn from past mistakes, and start over- good luck!

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BRANDNEWME78 10/8/2012 11:13AM

    emoticon

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KS_BELLYDANCER 10/8/2012 10:42AM

    You can do this!!

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BASKETLADY13 10/8/2012 10:35AM

    May the motivation be with you!!!

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