Sunday, October 07, 2012
After much thought, I applied for a new position within the company. It's not what I really want to do, but the stress wouldn't be so bad.
There are many reasons I want to leave my department. There is a lot of double standards and favoritism. I can never get straight answers from my supervisor or manager. The company won't hire more people for the department even though we need it. Quite simply, the stress is overwhelming. So much so that I slept for over 20 hours from Friday night to Sunday morning.
The advantages of the new position (if I get it) are less stress, a supervisor that I can usually get a straight answer from, and I would only be working directly with one other person. I won't feel as obligated about overtime or get as angry watching others slack while I bust my butt.
The disadvantages are I don't want to run a machine forever and being more isolated could affect my depression. Mandatory overtime is more common, but not to the point of 15-20 hours a week.
I truly believe that if I don't get out of my current position, I won't last much longer there. I am too outspoken for my manager's liking and my knowledge scares my supervisor. I guess I'm a threat some how.
It's been a hard decision to make. I like what I currently do, but I don't like how the department is handled. Yeah, in some ways, I feel I'm being run out. But, I know that this isn't a battle I can win and I'm tired of fighting.
So, I'm hoping that I get the new position and learn to like it. Wish me luck!