Sunday, October 07, 2012
Recently, I have felt like I have been stuck on a roller coaster strapped in tight just being taken for a ride. This really isn't a new feeling for me, the motto of my life has always been 2 steps forward 10 steps back, but lately it's really feels like more of 2 steps forward and 10 miles back. When it rains it pours. I am going to try to complain in this blog, rather just update.
This spit storm all started maybe 2 weeks ago at my kids doctor appointments. It was simply bad news after bad news. I thought that would be the worst of it, but man I was wrong. Since then, I have dealt with Emergency psych evals, stealing, and destroying school property. Again, I thought, ok, we have survived the storm, now I can begin to move on again. This week though, proved to be hell on my emotions. My oldest daughters LONG LOST father, absent for 8 years and 10 months, decided out of the blue that he now wants joint custody and visitation. This guy is a bad dude, I mean, banned from being within 100 feet of school, church, or daycare bad. This summons really made me face all the feelings that I had bottled away. My panic disorder has reared it's ugly head again. I haven't had a panic attack since 2009 when I saw him pull into a gas station where I was getting gas. Needless to say, this guy has done some serious damage to me. I spent the entire week contacting lawyers and people familiar with our past. My husband has been awesome during all of this. Saying what I need to hear and being there to give me a hug when I am crying.
After talking to an extremely expensive attorney, we decided that our first step would be to simply have my husband contact him and ask him to end the custody battle and sign his rights over. My husband has been raising my daughter since she was 1. I am counting on this piece of crap, waste of a human being, to be smart enough to realize that he doesn't really want to see his daughter, he just doesn't want to pay child support. TOTALLY FINE BY ME. If this doesn't happen then I will be forced to use our Christmas account to hire the attorney. This may be the beginning of a long battle.
So, right now, I feel like I am in a stalemate in this situation. Playing the waiting game. While I wait, I get to help my middle daughter. I took her Friday to finally get her x-ray to check her adenoids. The x-ray tech came out and said she saw something odd on the x-ray. She wasn't sure what it could be and said that the radiologist would be in contact with me by Wednesday. Now, I have learned not to read too much into what nurses say (apologies to any nurses out there), however I have had nurses misread reports to me on a few different occasions. I even had one call me and tell me that my biopsy checking for cancer came up positive and that the doctor was out for two days but asked me to make an appointment to meet with her when she returns. After waiting three days, since there weren't any opening for her return. I find out that the nurse put the wrong report in my file. I felt sorry for whoever had received my negative test results. So, I am taking her words with a grain of salt. I pray that she is incorrect but will deal with it when I hear from the radiologist.
Well, I think that is really all that has transpired this past week. I have barely survived it, but somehow managed. The only thing pulling me through this is knowing that after the storm my life is always calm.