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Blonde Stuff

Sunday, October 07, 2012

AUTO MAINTENANCE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"



RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."



KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"



IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



FINAL EXAM

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minute she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."



DOG NAMES

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HelOOOooo," answered the blonde "They're watch dogs



DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts whenever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor, "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbows and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says "No, I'm really a blonde, I just dyed my hair last week."

"I thought so, " he says. "Your finger is broken."
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYLLYNNE 10/13/2012 10:11AM

    I've seen these but they still make me laugh. As a blonde I know that we can laugh at these jokes and know we are really smart too!!

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ILOVEROSES 10/8/2012 7:29AM

    Loved them all. Thanks for sharing emoticon

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NYARAMULA 10/8/2012 2:23AM

    Very funny!

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JUDYAMK 10/7/2012 10:09PM

    Oh my gosh too funny!!

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TINY67 10/7/2012 9:50PM

    LOL!

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MERRYMARY42 10/7/2012 9:13PM

    I love the last one, happened to me one time, and I was never blond

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GOLDIELOCKSBEAR 10/7/2012 9:11PM

    Hah cute ;) And thank you for stopping by my page in September! Stopping by a bit late to say emoticon emoticon

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SOKKERNUT 10/7/2012 2:57PM

    GOOD ONES!!!!

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GAYLE-G-63 10/7/2012 10:48AM

    emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 10/7/2012 9:59AM

    Thanks for the laughs. Audra

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GERMANIRISHGIRL 10/7/2012 7:08AM

    emoticon

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THROOPER62 10/7/2012 5:54AM

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BUTEAFULL 10/7/2012 3:46AM

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MAGGIEVAN 10/7/2012 2:31AM

    Very funny. Thanks for sharing.

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SH9719 10/7/2012 1:47AM

    emoticon

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