Drama, health, and fixing ME!
Saturday, October 06, 2012
SO I have worked faithfully at working on the plan my health lady started for me. I lost a wopping 2 pounds in two weeks. LOL Not what I wanted.. BUT Guess who bought two pairs of size 14 pants yesterday! ME!! Yeah, so I didn't loose much but apparenly I lost some inches. I didn't measure myself like a dummy so I don't know where I started.
I call this summer pretty sucessful. I lost about 5 pounds. And I started at a size 18 in March/April and now Im in a 14. My goal is to get down to a 12 by the end of December and maybe loose so more weight. 10 pounds is my goal.
I'm starting to realize that it is going to take time to get where I want. I think that inside I really thought that all these crazy things I've tried over the last few months would just magically make me perfect. Its going to take effort, disapline, and time to get me where I want to go. I need to take things one day at a time. Then all the good days will add up to a good change.
I'm starting to get bored with my food choices and this week I am going to meet with A (the health helper lady) and see if I can work my food into something better with some different choices.
The last few week has been really emotional for me. I've had a lot of drama that I was unaware of arise from random girlfriends in my husbands circle. I stomped that crap out.
Then, I talked to the hubby over a long dinner and he started telling me how he felt about some stuff. He said that I was letting myself go. He said in the last year or so he has watched me seem to loose faith in myself. He said he watched me slowly stop taking care of myself, our home, and loose interest in life. He said it made him so sad watching me buy those stupid Via shakes and then even paying my health lady for help when last year I was doing it all on my own. I didn't need any help then and he doesnt understand why I think I need help now.
Ah.. It kind of hit me. Why do I need help? I have learned so much about health, nutrition, and fitness from SP and from reading and research why do I need help? I really don't. I'm lazy. But I'm starting to realize that I can not be like this. I need to change and not just one area. I need to make some changes as a whole. I need to take better care of ME, I need to start getting off the computer in the evenings and work on our home. I need to start doing my own thing and make life work for me.
But thats it.. LOL There is my vent for the weekend.