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    BETHIEBOOPS   11,048
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My mental change NSV

Friday, October 05, 2012

Today, we ate lunch together as a company. It was a part of a 2 month team building event where we've had a team orientated Masterchef competition where different departments cook for and serve the other departments. It's been a lot of fun.

As we're eating some very hot very Durban curry, I ate a little bit of everything (except the fish because there is nothing "clean" about boxed fish sticks). A new colleague of mine mentioned that she stopped eating carbs about a year ago and has lost 30lbs.

I was struck for a moment. Here I've been stuffing my face with anything that sounds good, aiming for the cleaner version where possible but was still eating curried rice (white), and I suddenly felt guilty. But as I sat there, I realised I wasn't guilty. I didn't feel bad- I felt like I should have felt bad, because that is what I do. Like many women, I eternally carry with me unneeded guilt. Ah, but this time, I wasn't guilty.

And I smiled at her, and said, "Oh my! That's great!" without needing to shove my own success in there- without needing to mention that I saw 50lbs down recently- that I "used to be a fatty" but "I'm much thinner now". No, there wasn't that strange compulsion to compare or self-deprecate. I didn't say, "Oh I should try that" or "Gosh, I wouldn't mind losing 30 lbs!" or any nonsense. I just moved on.

And I feel so at peace. That finally, finally I am not just a fat girl. Am I tiny? Far from it. Do I have work I still need and want to do on my body? You bet.

But the compulsion to share, to define myself by my new/old/potential size, to dwell in who I was, was surpassed today. And This is a major victory for me today. A major victory.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PRAIRIECROCUS 10/7/2012 4:47PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WINDSONG27 10/6/2012 7:43PM

    What an awesome NSV to read about. Thank you for sharing :)

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KAESEA78 10/6/2012 3:59AM

    This is awesome. It makes me smile, just thinking-she really probably needed that. Someone to say she did a good job and not put their 'more successful' successes in her face. I bet it made her day and may have even encouraged her to keep going. I wish there were more people in this world and in"my" world like this. You are amazing!!

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STEPH-KNEE 10/5/2012 9:41PM

    That is a great NSV for suresies! I am very proud of you for that. I always feel the need to say something like "Oh maybe I should try that" or whatever even when I have 0 desire to try it, but it just feels like something I "should" say. I need to knock that off. ;)

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KIMPY225 10/5/2012 3:05PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ATTACKFATCAT 10/5/2012 1:44PM

    Love it! Retraining your thought process is key and so hard for many people to do. emoticon emoticon

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