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Muddled Thoughts

Thursday, October 04, 2012

This morning, I went to Kaiser for what turned out to be 5 appointments. I have never before been able to schedule everything on the same day, let alone all on the morning. First was the fasting blood test. I have terrible veins that collapse easily, so I’ve experienced lots of “fishing expeditions”. No problems this morning. I knew I would be hungry afterwards, so I brought a granola bar and a banana. I sat outside in the garden area and enjoyed both along with the beautiful weather.

Next up, I thought, would be the flu shot. But that clinic would not be open for another hour. I took a walk for most of that time. So proud of myself for that! When I got back, it was a short wait (I thought I should have walked longer and was also amazed that my lower back did not object.) and I was finished with that in seconds.

Then was the physical with my new doctor. The appointment was in the same building, but more than an hour later. I registered anyway and was called in almost immediately. For me, the purpose was to get her signature on a paper from my company attesting to the fact that I’d had a physical. I had no complaints and the company has offered a $50 incentive to be paid in December for taking care of ourselves this way. My numbers (BP etc) are excellent. I know she was surprised to see that because my weight is so high. I need to lose 74 pounds!

Then was the booster vaccine (same building, but another clinic, so another registration and another wait). They tell me I will be very sore tomorrow (I am already!) Both shoulders (they did not want to do both on the same shoulder.)

The squish test was in a different building so I got some more steps in. I was very, very early for that appointment and it looked, at first, as if I were going to have to wait until that time came. When they called me back up and asked if I were aware of the time, I said I was, but I hoped to get in early so I could get to work. One person was training another and I heard them discuss the fact that they had only one machine. My heart sank. But they took me early! The technician complimented me for allowing her to manipulate me as she needed for the scans. She said most women flinch at being touched. Well, I don’t enjoy this test, but I’d rather the technician got a good picture the first time and that she sees all the tissue. I was surprised to learn I now have to have this annually...(age)

While I was walking around the complex, I saw an elderly man walking. He was hunched over at the waist, his trunk completely parallel to the ground. He walked with a cane and one foot thumped loudly with each step (I walk that way also, but not as pronounced.). I could not see any reason for the heavy footfall, but I was stunned at his posture. I think he would have stood about 6 feet were he able to stand tall. Very sad. I surmised as I watched him that he is probably a veteran and it’s a shame that he cannot stand tall at this point in his life. Seeing him and some of the other patients reinforced my determination to take care of myself.

On the other hand, after watching last night’s debate, reviewing my financial situation and receiving bad news in the mail, I am completely discouraged about my future. In the next few days, I will be reviewing my options, such as they are. Bankruptcy is abhorrent to me, but it is an option. Look for a better paying job or a second job, talk to my creditors (scary!) and other thoughts. Not wanting to face the facts is not productive – an interesting parallel to my SP journey, but not one I will delve into here today. But this issue does impact the rest of my life. It’s hard to work, hard to feel positive…We’ve all struggled like this. I am not the only one.

I took most of the day off, but I did go in to work so that I could join in the celebration for an employee who is retiring tomorrow. He is so excited! I am sorry to see him leave. He is someone I like and respect and enjoy. They had a huge yummy looking chocolate cake. I walked away as it was being cut. I knew better than to get near it. At this point, I cannot make exceptions for “special” events. I won’t drop this tonnage.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm glad your doctor visits all went well. Even your veins cooperated!

    I'm sorry about the finances. I've been through tough times before with money, but fortunately not recently. Things have a way of working out in the end.

    Good for you for resisting the cake. Way to go!
    1964 days ago
    Great to get all that "stuff" done in one day. I had 80 lbs to lose and although I've gone backwards, I know it can be done, I guess we just need to look around this site to know that. You can do it you have good company here. It is very important to get healthy now for the future, you are so right. I want to be able to garden in my golden years since that is really my hobby. I see my husband who is 12 years older than me and he is very overweight and he is suffering from so much pain. I don't want to be like that. Sometimes charging straight into those financial problems and making hard decisions is the only way out. It hurts going through but it is so freeing on the other side. Living in one of the most expensive places in California, not to mention the country is not making it easier. Have you thought of relocating? I had to do that at one point, I used to live in Carmel....."nuff said". As always I wish only the best for you. emoticon
    1964 days ago
    I always tell my patients that get immunizations - if you can take acetaminophen (Tylenol), aspirin or Ibuprofen (Motrin or Advil) - take it every 4 - 6 hours for the first day. The immunizations cause pain and frquently, a slight fever. Guess what these meds are good for? Yep - pain & fever. (Obviously, if you are allergic, DON'T TAKE THEM!)
    1965 days ago
  • _LINDA
    So glad all your appointments went well -even the veins cooperated -simply amazing! I enjoyed the benefits of my Remicade, but sure hated the number of times the nurses had to jam and poke around that long IV needle around until they could finally get a good one in :( Scars on my arms to show for it.
    So very sorry to hear of your financial problems. So unfair how hard you work for that company but don't really get enough to live on, you do deserve better, hope you can find something more. You should talk to the creditors maybe there is a way to amalgamate things and make the payments easier to manage.
    Good for you resisting the cake! I know I won't be able to resist the sweet treats at my Mom's for my Thanksgiving. My family is getting together Saturday which is good as I have to work the holiday Monday (club only closes on Christmas Day)
    Keep on taking care of yourself!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1965 days ago
    You had quite a busy day. I hope your financial situation improves. It can be so stressful. I'm with you on staying away from the cake!
    1965 days ago
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