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    AILINEA   24,985
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Haven't posted here in a while

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Things have been going surprisingly well. Except for the STILL UNEMPLOYED part. That's getting stressful. But again, I'd rather take the stress of job hunting over what I went through last year.

Yesterday marked the day Jeff began cheating on me. Not the day I found out, but the day he started.

He calls me "paranoid" and "crazy." I call him "caught in the act." He calls himself "loyal." I say:



But I've managed to stop reading his private messages. He began flirting with a 21-year-old girl, lied about his age (she asked if he was 25. He said "More like 30, but yeah around there." He's 33...12 years older than her), and sent her pics of his junk. And I don't mean the garbage in his apartment. Yes, it was him.

This was my reaction:

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I haven't read his DMs since.

Mind you, I'm not trying to kink-shame or shame people who have sent sexy pics of themselves to others. But it's seeing him for who he is anymore...setting up multiple accounts specifically for cybersex as a cartoon pony from a kids show, lying to someone 12 years younger than him and sending her pics of *that*? It's just squicky.

SOOOO much better off without him.

So anyway, again, aside from the unemployment, things are going well here. I've been losing weight again, which is nice to see! Today I hit a new low (157.0) which I think is less than my lowest last year. And THAT wasn't maintainable. This time...I won't say the weight is coming off easily, but it's not the struggle it was.

Funny enough, I've also discovered fewer grey hairs at my temples than have been there in the past few years. I FEEL healthier and more confident than I have in AGES. Dare I say it...even YOUNGER.

I felt really good yesterday, so I took a pic before Jezi and I went to dinner. (We were going to go to dinner then the grocery store, but dinner was REALLY slow. I swear they only had 1 waiter working, but I will say all the eyecandy working other positions made up for it. >.>)

Just have to point out...my double-chin is going away! Seriously, I used to have to take pictures at certain angles with my head tilted up to have any hint of a jaw line. Looking down was RIGHT OUT. But now? YAY! And even though the angle/twist of my body isn't the most flattering, you know what? I don't care! I still like the pic!



We're heading to the grocery store now for more healthy yummy food, but I had to post a little something since I haven't updated in so long.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AILINEA 10/6/2012 4:31PM

    Thanks, both of you!

Sometimes I wonder why I stayed with him for so long, but my roommate/best friend also knew him for nearly 5 years, and agrees that he's a very charismatic person. Also an incredible narcissist, and while she's seen a degradation of character and personality before, she'd NEVER seen it that extreme. There's backsliding, and then there's allowing himself to be snapped back to a 13-year-old mentality like he was attached to a stretched bungee cord. Could not facepalm harder.

DIET_FRIEND: There's a saying, "I wish I was as thin as I was when I first thought I was fat." SO TRUE! A couple years ago I topped out around 195-198 (I didn't step on the scale until I was about 192, and I know I'd lost some weight at that point) and felt HORRIBLE because the first time I had started Weight Watchers I was 153 fully clothed in jeans and a sweat shirt! But if it's any consolation, you've been a lower weight before, and you can get there again! "You didn't put the weight on in a day...." You can do it, and I believe in you!

Added you both as Spark Friends! CKMATHERLY - Now you're making me wish I hadn't missed Animazement this year! Love your costumes! DIET_FRIEND - By the way, I'm a knitter/crocheter too!

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CKMATHERLY 10/5/2012 4:07PM

    Yeah, you're much better off with out him...the pony thing is more than a little creepy...Though I bet I know a few....Good luck on the job front!

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DIET_FRIEND 10/4/2012 8:05PM

    I think you look pretty cute! I remember when I was in my 30s and weight about what you do and how fat and unattractive I felt. Boy I'd love to have that body back now that I'm over 200 pounds. I always tell young people to take pictures now! At every age! We are all getting older and when we look back at our youth we all say, "Boy didn't I look good then!"

I'm reminded of the song by One Direction: "You don't know your beautiful! That's what makes you beautiful!"

You are FER SHURE better off without that sleazy ex--I've had my share of ex's so I know if you put your mind to it, you will find a guy who wants to treat you right. I finally did and it has been the promised land for me ever since.

I am unemployed too. Let's be SparkFriends!

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