OK, we've ALL seen this motivational poster...
Admit it...the first time you saw it, you were all, "TOTALLY TRUE!!!! I LOVE THAT SO MUCH!"
Then you saw it a few hundred more times...to the point where you no longer get excited when you see it and you probably just vomited in your mouth a little when you saw it here on my blog. Be honest. Hey...I feel the same way about all motivational quotes that seem to make the rounds over and over.
But sometimes seasons come where you can see things in a fresh light. I've made no efforts to hide the fact in the past that I struggle with depression. It's a lovely little ailment that my Mum was kind enough to pass down to me when I was just a wee little lass (i.e. official medical term is "dysthymia").
Anyway, I've been in a bit of a slump since my race last week. As for diet, I have been in a slump since before the race. My food choices have just been awful since last Friday.
Because the 10k was so hard on my left knee, I have not attempted any workouts this week either. When you add up a horrible diet and no workouts and the low level depression that I normally feel at all times, it's kind of a recipe for emotional disaster. It seems crazy even to me that a slump of just 4 days can have such a profound impact on a person, but here is where depression is a tricky little son of a gun.
Guys, I literally had this thought yesterday: "Maybe this IS all just a phase. Maybe I should just give up. I don't feel like doing anything. I've lost my momentum and maybe I should just run this half and be done for good."
EXCUSE ME????? WHAT?????!!!!!
Luckily, I also have an inner Jillian Michaels, who immediately flared up and gave me quite a talking to - complete with bleeped out words. I'll spare you the actual dialogue because I'm sure you can imagine. It was somewhat more animated than this, but held the same basic message:
So, what do you do when you hit a slump and you don't have the DESIRE to change?
1. Get your workout stuff ready. Pack the gym bag and put it by your stuff and put your workout clothes right next to your bed.
2. Set your stupid alarm clock way earlier than you want to set it.
3. When the alarm clock goes off, get your ass out of bed and get dressed. Walk out the door.
4. Drive to your exercise destination. Even if, like me this morning, you are complaining and upset the entire way.
5. Get in the stupid pool (tailored to my particular workout this morning). Forget about HOW MUCH you DO NOT want to do this.
6. Start swimming.
7. Keep swimming. Might as well...you're already in there...and it's only 30 minutes. (FYI...it took me 20 lengths to actually feel like being in the pool was maybe a good choice for this morning...TWENTY!)
8. Do it for half an hour. Stop bitching.
That's it, folks.
And here is where the miracle is delivered. The change in my heart, mind and emotions was absolutely astounding this morning. I felt amazing physically and like I was given a fresh start with my diet. More than that, I actually WANTED healthy food after that workout! The two really go go hand in hand.
I immediately thought of the poster that had annoyed me so many times and realized the truth of those words. It is only after a slump so deep and dark that I can appreciate those words and truly understand them.
Last night, I fell asleep thinking to myself, "Someone needs to save me and pull me out of this." Well, guess what...I didn't need anyone to do it for me. I just needed to make a decision to get out there and do what I know is right. And it changed everything.