Tuesday, October 02, 2012
I am wondering if I can do this. Why do I have such a strong desire to eat? I am feeling really hungry and not the least bit sleepy. Last night I only got an hour of sleep. As soon as I finally fell asleep my son woke up (with the sun). If I don't do this now then when will I ever do it. I have tried so many things. Most of them work, like counting calories, writing what I eat, exercising, banning TV, doing yoga and meditation. I have lost weight doing all of these things, but I always fall back into the habit of using food to fall asleep. I am great all day, but when I try to sleep I go crazy. I have white knuckled it and made it through a few nights, but then something stressful happens and I allow myself to eat and watch tv. I have tried hypnosis, tiring myself out, sleep music, sleeping pills (those only gave me night eating and munchies). Still the best thing I always want to do is turn on mindless tv and eat. I have tried saving calories for this specific reason, but that doesn't last long. Before I know it I am adding a little more cereal, then whole milk instead of fat free, then graduating to cookies and milk, just a few, but then that turns into whole packages. I keep trying. Every few months I start fresh and give it a go. That is where I am tonight. I am hoping that SP will be the thing that makes me stick to my plan. As I am typing there is such a strong voice and desire to go eat. This is awful. I am tired of fighting . I want to eat.....I am going to.