Sunday, September 30, 2012
I made the mistake of keeping sugar in the house (fruit roll ups, to be exact) for my husband and son. I know I've eaten more of them than the two of them combined. This is not good.
I was strong against cakes in the lounge on two different occasions this week. But then when I made french toast sticks for my son, on MORE THAN ONE occasion, I managed to sneak one past my own lips.
The good (?) news, if you can call it that, is that I didn't get migraines. I kind of wished I had because it's always easier with a concrete problem to avoid a food. But this week I had no adverse reactions, minus the weight, general tiredness, and guilt.
I only lost .2 this week, which actually considering those things is okay. I'm okay with it. I have to deal with my choices. It's amazing, though, how even though I see things as so small - one miniature fruit roll-up "here or there" or a bite of french toast - my body sees it as so much more. It burns those sugars for so long that I need to be able to remind myself that its just not worth it. It's NOT worth it. It tastes good, and I know I'm PMSing this week, so that never helps. I also know that once the sugar is out of my system I don't crave it. I just have to get back to that point.
One of my best friends lost her grandma this week, and I can't be there for her because she's thousands of miles away. I also found out that one of my most favorite students from last year has blood cancer. Our school has, in one week, raised $23,000 to help with the family's medical expenses. It was just a shock, and I still get teary when I think about it. Its foolish to think that the stress and grief from those things isn't affecting my eating habits.
So, back on the wagon this week.