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    CANDOK1260   43,697
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jokes and sparkive if only in my mind 2


Friday, September 28, 2012

Stress sparklive if only in my mind 2
Visulation
Cast off the Chains
• Problems can feel like chains holding you down.
Daily burdens often feel like chains holding us down. This simple exercise helps lighten the load.
Imagine that you're wrapped in heavy chains and standing next to a deep body of water or a bottomless abyss. Feel the chains pulling you down. You can barely move. Now let them loose! Visualize the chains unbinding, clattering to the ground around your feet. Pick them up, and throw them into the lake or abyss, never to be seen again. Feel how light you are, and take that feeling with you as you step back into your day
Okay not the type of visualization in sparklive but work for me and seem to go with the topic of this blog
Woo hoo

treadmill workout is going well and really conntecting with spark friends on facebool.



STRESS KILLERS
Today I am feeling stressed so I started thinking and researching about all the things that will reduce the stress I am facing. Below is a list of Stress Killers.

1. Eat high energy foods!!
2. Eat lots of fruits and veggies
3. DRINK DRINK DRINK COLD WATER
4. Journal about lies you are feeling or thinking
5. Rewire your thinking with healthy "I can statements..."
6. Grieve-crying is a healthy way to let go of stress and heal from unhealthy toxins...
- Submitted by ICANTHRUHIM 5/28/2012 in Motivation

S
Give Yourself Grace ti,e
14

I am not saying slack off but I do think its important to give ourselves one GRACE day where we don't have to follow rules or be perfect. If we know we can give ourselves one day a week or every 2 week like this than it is less likely that we will slack off for longer periods of time. When you do have a hard day... give yourself grace to forget the calories and lack of exercise. Every day is new with no mistakes in it so live it like yesterday didn't exist!
MORE INFORMATION:
See my blog for more info on stress/accomplishment journals.
- Submitted by ICANTHRUHIM 7/2/2012 in Getting Back On Track | 1 Comments
its me time

- Submitted by ICANTHRUHIM 7/2/2012 in Getting Back On Track | 1 Comments
its me time
Alway make time for yourself even if it’s just to walk to the shop, this will help to reduce your stress levels and relax you.
- Submitted by NEWMRS1 5/28/2012 in Staying Positive |
schedule time for myself just as I would for a meeting at work or a date with a friend. I keep that commitment just as I would any other. This time can be for exercising, reading a book or just taking a walk with my dog.
- Submitted by MEEMS214 1/27/2011 in Staying Positive | 1 Comment

Weight in down 3 pounds from last Thursday
Jokes
You have been warned
True life product warnings:
On a blanket from Taiwan:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer:
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles:
OPEN OTHER END.
On a Sears hairdryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
.
On a bar of Dial soap:
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
On a child's superman costume:
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
____________________________
____________
Great quotes
Great quotes
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." (Dave Barry)
"Marriage is a wonderful invention. But, then again, so is the bicycle repair kit." (Billy Connolly)
"Whenever I have to decide between two evils, I always choose the one I haven't tried before." (Mae West)
DOCTORS NOTES ON PATIENTS CHARTS
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused an autopsy.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Actual Church Bulletins



Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."

A new loud speaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. in the church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Irving Beltson and Jessie were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Friendship Hall after the B.S.





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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SPARKCHANTAL 10/5/2012 9:14AM

    hee hee! use the double door!

hi candy, how are you doing?

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CJWORDPLAY 9/30/2012 12:20AM

    Oh, my. After my long day I really enjoyed laughing out loud. Thanks. emoticon

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OJ_2_OK 9/29/2012 3:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Loved the jokes and congratulations on the weight loss!

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BOBBYD31 9/28/2012 6:38PM

    woo hoo on the weight loss! and loved your visualization

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LOLAINSC 9/28/2012 11:32AM

    I'd love to join the choir, but I can't sin. emoticon
Seriously though, I read about a man, who went bicycling at night on a bike without a light and got struck by a car, has filed suit against the bicycle company for not carrying a warning that bicycles should not be ridden at night without lights.

Comment edited on: 9/28/2012 11:39:12 AM

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NPA4LOSS 9/28/2012 9:20AM

    emoticon A destress time is important for all of us. Taking a day off from our journey can be just a chance to view the road from a different angle. emoticon

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FITKAT62 9/28/2012 9:09AM

    Very funny!

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CASSIOEPIA 9/28/2012 8:30AM

    Some of those warnings are truly ridiculous! I remember getting a cell phone once, and reading the warnings - including "do not use in a microwave". It makes me wonder if somebody actually tried these things and then contacted the manufacturer, forcing them to warn others not to do that.

Great job on your walking and weight loss. I like your visualization (and your FB friends).

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DBELLE39 9/28/2012 7:55AM

    Congrats on the weight loss. Thanks for sharing the morning laughter.

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LILAC_LANE 9/28/2012 7:12AM

    I love your jokes. The tiramisu and the weight watchers meeting were the best.
The visualization exercise about the chains is a great idea. Thanks for sharing.
You really know how to spread the Spark!
Have a great weekend.
~J~

emoticon

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RISINGBLUESTAR 9/28/2012 6:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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2WHEELEDSHARON 9/28/2012 6:21AM

    Lol! These are great!
Woohoo good job on the loss! Keep kicking it!

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