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Sorry for being AWOL for a little while.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

It's a little uncharacteristic of me to drop off the radar for a while, there has been a lot going on both in my life and my heart as well. I just haven't had the heart to blog for a while. I have been totally focused on myself and my own situation. I have gotten a little tired of blogging about the same old stuff and then not making any progress myself. Whether it was a backlash of personal frustration or just simply regrouping, I know not.

After all, who wants to read the same old yammering about the same old stuff?

In the process of time and events, I got my hands on an app for my phone, My Fitness Pal. That thing is fantastic.

One thing about a food log, it REVEALS.

With this new toy I was in sublime control of everything, complete with pie charts, nutrient breakdowns, everything an OCD numbers nerd really goes for.

Then IT happened.

I went overboard ...as if that was a new concept.....

Like with my training, I would push for some bigger, badder, faster, farther than ever before number until, figuratively speaking,the wheels fell off and I was sitting on the proverbial curb nursing some injury...

Well, the same foolish approach followed me into analyzing my dietary intake as well. I was low carbing it because that is what works for me. I pushed and pushed, reducing my percentages until I experienced the mother of all blood sugar crashes after a 5 mile run with nothing in the tank. I have no idea what my actual number was but later that week, I crashed again but not quite as bad and I got checked with a meter at home.. My blood sugar was 79 and I know I had to have been much worse after my run a few days prior.

I am still low carbing it but much more sensibly this time. My push push push mentality driven by numbers on the screen was foolish. The whole episode was driven by my overall frustration with my lack of progress and my body pushed back. I ate and ate and ate some more and totally overcompensated, sort of like a bungee jumper who reaches the end of the stretch and snaps back upward.

Well, after some back and forth days, I'm back in the saddle, giving it another go.

A point that I learned a long time ago and have need to be reminded yet again is that we are leading our body beside the still waters, not beating it into submission. Never let a tool become a taskmaster.

I let my frustration get the best of me and I lost my balance. It happens to everyone but it's over.

Control yes, these last few weeks have demonstrated that shooting from the hip has led to some deeply embedded bad habits when it comes to awareness of my intake or the lack thereof.

I guess the point of all of this is that I let myself get frustrated and made some poor decisions. Anyway, I'm back in the saddle. Allowing a goof up to create a sequence of events that leads to an avalanche of failure is not acceptable if I am to reach my final destination.

I will move forward.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 10/1/2012 12:07AM

    Ah, the draw of a new toy. Glad that you are finding balance. That had to be pretty scary.
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DR8561 9/30/2012 11:47AM

    I can totally relate. I've had quite a few "if it's worth doing, it's worth over-doing" periods myself (a lack of moderation is what got us here in the first place, after all). It's hard finding and keeping a balance, but it sounds like you're handling it well. We almost lost my mom to a bad drop in blood sugar last year, so please take care with that. Glad you're back!

emoticon emoticon

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WARMSPRINGDAY 9/30/2012 11:24AM

    Hooray for lessons learned!

I'm glad I read this post. I'm contemplating going low(er) carb, and your warning is well taken.

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KDYLOSE 9/30/2012 10:50AM

    Look how self-aware you've become. I'm guessing that a few years back you, like me, were just a person who ate too much, had very little understanding of why, and beat up on themselves for not having "willpower."

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KATHIC2 9/29/2012 9:49AM

  I look forward to hearing more!

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GARDENCHRIS 9/28/2012 11:08PM

    life happens some times.... sometimes we just need to let it happen... glad you are ok.

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GAMEON123 9/28/2012 8:29PM

    Sorry for your scare! A very timely caution for me...on a fresh fruit and veggie fast. No exercise now. It was great to see a blog from you, though!

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LINDAK25 9/28/2012 5:17PM

    I have to watch that I stay in balance otherwise I go overboard. For some of us, that mentality just comes with the territory. How do you train for marathons and lose weight at the same time? Is it possible to do without feeling hungry all the time?

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KNITCAT1 9/28/2012 3:45PM

    "Stuff" happens. Sometimes it's our own doing, but the good part of that, we can usually UNdo it... You'll figure it out, keep trying!

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BUTTERFLY-1976 9/28/2012 2:44PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BECCA315 9/28/2012 2:19PM

    Glad to hear that you're back in the saddle again...

Becca

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123ELAINE456 9/28/2012 1:17PM

  Glad to have you back. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.
Take Care.

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 9/28/2012 1:11PM

    Robert first of all a standing ovation for not giving up..you are truly winning this battle!!
Second..let me tell you a little story. In 2000, on the brink of divorce, trying to do ANYTHING to get my husband to notice me, like me, acknowledge me....i decided to lose weight. i was 328 pounds. in a very short time i went from 328 to 250..and then it stopped. i couldnt budge the weight. no matter what i did. i was working out 2 strenuous hours a day. i dropped my calories to 900. then 800. then 600. I was determined i was going to do this.
Then i passed out. talk about a crash. i do remember my doc saying umm i saw you 4 months ago and you were 328. right now you are 238. thats 90 pounds in4 months and that is NOT healthy or good. your bloodwork looks like something we would see in someone starving.
when he found out what i was foolishly doing he sat with me and FORCED me to eat. he told me he was worried i was anorexic. i looked at him in horror and disbelief..i said i weigh 238 pounds HOW could i be?? apparently you can.
long story short...i screwed up. i really messed things up doing it wrong. now i cant lose. well, except my husband. apparently he liked me fat, because he left anyway. and yeah, i gave up..and gained back about 60 pounds. but i'm fighting to lose it now. if only i hadnt messed so badly with my metabilism i might be able to lose more normally.
You have done wonders. We all want to be opimal NOW. if it were that easy we would all be perfect weight and endurance. we are here for you....let us be!! lean on us we have leaned on you enough!!
Big hugs!
Holly

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AMANDAUNBIDDEN 9/28/2012 12:41PM

    Great blog! And I love how you are thinking of this. You just got sidetracked but you are learning from what didn't work and making different choices now. Keep up the great work! You will reach your goals! I can tell that from the determination in your words! emoticon emoticon

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IRONBLOSSOM 9/28/2012 12:15PM

    Balance is so tough, these are the lessons you needed to learn, all of our lessons are different, and now you know!

I'm glad you're back and I hope things are going better. Have a great weekend!

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LINDAKAY228 9/28/2012 12:03PM

    Control and balance is something that gives me a lot of trouble at times too. I've done what you've done more times than I want to admit. But we pick ourselves, dust ourselves off, an get back on track again. Much like when you are riding your bike and crash. Some crashes take a little longer to recover from and some are mild but the thing is to not let it be an end to the journey. We learn from each time, although I often have to learn the same lessons over. But we can do it even if we have crashes sometimes!

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RUNNER4LIFE08 9/28/2012 10:58AM

    Balance can be a very hard thing to master. Keep going though spark friend.... you will get there!

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LIGHTNINGRUNNER 9/28/2012 10:30AM

    Analysis is a good thing - however over analysis causes more harm than good - Hope things in your life are settling down.

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STHAX10 9/28/2012 10:26AM

    emoticon

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ALDEBARANIAN 9/28/2012 9:42AM

    emoticon When will I ever learn not to do stuff like that too! Missed you. Glad to see you back again. emoticon emoticon

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LIV2RIDE 9/28/2012 9:28AM

    Low carb is a slippery slope as you have found out especially with endurance training. Glad you are back!

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WONDERWOMAN 9/28/2012 9:25AM

    Every step we take is part of the learning experience. I think going overboard on the "healthy" side is just our compulsive behavior coming through on the other side. It is all about balance; and that does not come overnight! Take care of you, Robert!

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-STARRYEYED- 9/28/2012 9:21AM

    Glad you're ok after the sugar crash. emoticon I know emoticon

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CHANGINGSAM 9/28/2012 8:51AM

    Glad you are back!

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BILL60 9/28/2012 8:30AM

    Get on down and do "20" healthy ones, followed by a nice bike ride.

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TAMMYINPA 9/28/2012 8:15AM

    Welcome back!!!

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LAURIE5658 9/28/2012 7:56AM

    It's those deep seated bad habits that will bite you I the a$$ every single time. The important thing is to catch ourselves doing it. You do exactly that. Press on, Robert.

RAWK ON! emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/28/2012 7:56:23 AM

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KATHIC2 9/28/2012 7:55AM

  Donna Marlor, an endurance athlete and dietician, has really helped me. You may want to check our her website.
I do love your blog and thanks for sharing your living and learning!

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MAGGIE101857 9/28/2012 7:54AM

    Hello again! I love MFP and wish we could combine their food tracking app/scanner with Spark! I am bouncing between these sights and my Bodyfit...and it's exhausting keeping up! Back to you...happy that you recognized the issue so quickly! Another big step taken!

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KBRADFORD88 9/28/2012 7:36AM

    Hey glad you are using all of this for progress? Can I ask with your level
If exercise why you would low carb? Where are you getting energy?

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GINA180847 9/28/2012 7:21AM

    What is so great about you Robert is that you seem to learn from everything that you do wrong and then from what goes right. Granted you do seem to go to extremes sometimes but that is because you have passion and are a very strong individual. So good to hear from you again. Truly I have never felt that you yammered, there was always a slightly new slant on what was going on. Repitition is not a bad thing!

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LEANJEAN6 9/28/2012 6:54AM

    Oh I'm SO happy you are back--because, even tho yu might sit at one place for a bit, at least you are learning healthy stuff-- reading----so happy you are back on track! See?? You are a powerful influence to the rest of us! We need yu! Lynda emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/28/2012 6:43AM

    Recognition that we all have these moments on the journey is a GOOD thing! Back in the saddle again (of that gorgeous bike?)... BETTER. Sparking on through it all? The BEST! emoticon

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LIVEDAILY 9/28/2012 5:51AM

    emoticon
Don't you just love those "lightbulb" moments?? Granted, experiencing a blood sugar crash is not something you want to get into the habit of doing, BUT it's been a tremendous learning experience for you. Take what you've learned and parlay it into your tool kit. Truly learn from your experience; plan; remain aware.

It's good to see you back!

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ADELE66 9/28/2012 3:53AM

    Sounds like you have put a great deal of thought into what happened and why, and so try not to see this as an 'avalanche of failure'. Maybe it was just something you had to go through to understand yourself better?

Well done, for coming out the other side though..and welcome back!

Adele

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REGILIEH 9/28/2012 2:37AM

    emoticon

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GOING-STRONG 9/28/2012 1:07AM

    I downloaded My Fitness Pal a few weeks ago to my iphone but haven't spent anytime with it yet. I'll have to give it a try soon. SP Nutrition tracker isn't the easiest to use that is for sure!

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_MOBII_ 9/28/2012 12:28AM

    Glad to have you back!

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NESARIAN 9/28/2012 12:28AM

    Welcome back! You were sorely missed. I do have to commend you on role modeling yet another concept so vital to success - moderation/balance. Having control over SOMETHING with work issues out of your control makes sense. I see so much of myself in you. Although, it is easier to identify in you than when I am going thru it!
Welcome back! yippee for balance!

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DUMBBELLE84 9/28/2012 12:15AM

  LOL @ Leah. Glad you're back. Take care of your awesome self!!

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DOTTIESPLACE 9/28/2012 12:13AM

    It happens. What is important is that you have recognized it, made some amendments and moved forward. Good for you!

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SEATTLE58 9/28/2012 12:07AM

    We're all in the same boat, and we all know how to get up again! And we all know that you can do it! We all can! The main thing is that you knew how to do it!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOGOULD 9/27/2012 11:55PM

    Robert, it is SO GOOD to hear from you and my I extend my warmest welcome to the recovering "all or nothing" Sparkteam.....with me as the ringleader. I understand exactly where you are coming from. Just about the time I have cut out the unnecessaries from life in an effort to simplify and reduce stress, I find all this extra time and space to cram more into ... or to cram in the same stuff to a ever increasing degree. I found the At Goal & Maintaining + Transitioning to Maintenance Team to be very helpful in keeping me in balance. It is getting me past the losing mentality to working a program that I can maintain for the rest of my life. Even though I still have to "re-lose" some more of the weight that I put back on, I am faining invaluable knowledge from people who have been walking the walk and talking the talk for YEARS! Would love to add you to that number but either way, you'll always be my numero uno inspiration!!! Spark steady - and carefully!!!

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REALLY_ROBIN 9/27/2012 11:54PM

  Glad you are back on board!!!!

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LDRICHEL 9/27/2012 11:53PM

    Live and learn. We're all right there with ya.

I think these emoticons will be super motivational for you:

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

You are welcome.

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 9/27/2012 11:50PM

    Thanks for posting this, it is a bit similar to some of my experiences lately. A 5 mile run this a.m. with just a Luna Protein for fuel and water, then taking the kids to school and going to the grocery store had my tank empty. I wanted to "enjoy" the calorie deficit created by the run this morning and got woozy in the grocery store. Downed an entire Naked Protein without blinking after realizing what I'd done to myself, but even then I realized I needed to be more balanced in the carbs to protein ratio :). I kick and fight against tracking food, knowing I should just to make sure that my days are balanced. No too many days and no too little days, but it is so hard to go there knowing I might grow to enjoy the too few days too much. You are always honest and forthright in your posts and that is so helpful. We all struggle with what is right for us and finding the right balance. Your honesty helps us know that it is normal to try shooting from the hip or react in frustration at times. Thanks again for an honest and helpful blog post!

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