Thursday, September 27, 2012
My last blog entry was the beginning of this year. Oh my!! Time flies when you have a husband, a 2 year old, full time school and studying/projects, and household type jobs to do. I have my whole week planned out, including weekends until this time next year. Wow. And now I come back to SP because I need to do some tracking for myself --- and for school!
A big event happened for me today - and that is finding out about a problem I've been having for years, and years - since I was in my late teens. Problems sleeping.
I did a sleep study on September 15 and was desperately hoping for some answers. Well, I got them. The term the doc used was 'psychophysiological insomnia' a.k.a. lack of sleep due to excessive worry. I've always worried more than I should have - but there were times in my life that I've also had reasons (and some excuses) to do all of that worrying. Now, I'm putting a stop to it.
I've been recommended to see a psychiatrist, and a prescription for an eating disorder that prevents me from losing the weight I need to lose - another goal I have been working hard on for the past 10 years, and getting quite frustrated with.
I am ecstatic to have some answers because, quite frankly, these problems are beginning to make huge, negative impacts on my life. I do not have the ideal or natural energy that some people claim to have - I am in my early thirties and feel like I have added on about 20 years or so.
I have plans to call the psychiatrist tomorrow and make an immediate schedule as to calm my anxiety and stressors - and will also be picking up my medicine to relieve myself of the thing in my brain that causes my eating disorder, which only happens at 2-3 a.m. and prevents me from losing weight.
I blog about this because I feel it is a major milestone in my life: I have always promised myself that I would never be obese, never have the troubles of my family members (specifically my mother), never say that I am too big to move or play with my daughter - all of these things which have been pushing me to 'survive' all of these years have pushed me overboard to finally do something about it.