Thursday, September 27, 2012
I feel like somebody needs to be shouting that at me all the time.
I'm at a weird place where I am both okay with my body weight (1-2 pounds above goal) and I am also so not okay with the repetitious binging and overeating.
One feeds directly into the other too, as the comfort I feel towards my weight provides my mind an allowance for additional calories.
I don't know quite what to do to be honest. I want to be okay with my body, but I don't want my allowances to slide because I am okay. That's not what my goal is about as I do know that if I start letting it slide up I won't have the willpower to stop it. One to two pounds will become three to four, three to four will become five to six. And so on.
The weight comes back with complacency and comfort. I want complacency and comfort, I think I deserve it, but I have to face the fact: I'm not ready for it. I can't trust myself with it quite yet, it's too important. It's too powerful. It's too potent.
I've read the possibility of weight regain drops 50% after 2 years. I'm only a few months away, 1/4 of a year to that number. I can do this, I can, I can, I can.
Time for some aerobic discomfort I think. I don't know where I'll find the time, but I have to.