Wednesday, September 26, 2012
A new day.. Not so much how I thought it would turn out..
I am learning about all of my addictions, FOOD, being a huge one for many years, and so it stands to reason that when I thought I conquered food, the alcohol ebbed and flowed in and out of control, until it eventually rocked the bottom out of MY control. I made the silly assumption that when I mastered my weight I automatically mastered my grief, and shouldn't that have somehow given me more control of my emotions?
2 words. Superwoman Syndrome.
Put on a pretty face, workout, eat well, be super mom, super widow and push down any pain that may possibly rise to the surface.. IMMEDIATELY!!
Blah blah blah.. so on and so forth.. fast forward to the past year.. when it spiraled to the damn bottom falling out.. almost entirely.
So here I am. Sober...
and check this out!!!
In part of my fantastic denial, I forgot how much sugar is in alcohol and in 48 days I am finding my frame is never bloated and my face has completely slimmed down!! I'll TAKE THAT!!
I don't have anything immediately profound to share today.. It has been a very emotional day and I am frankly exhausted. Feelings make you tired.. In fact in all honestly I probably have a lot of profound things to say, but very little energy to intelligibly express them.. So I will leave with this..
Just when I thought it was impossible, and all was lost..
My insides are finally beginning to match my outside.. and that feels pretty cool.
" You can break down a woman temporarily, but a real woman will always pick up the pieces, rebuild herself and come back stronger than ever."