Wednesday, September 26, 2012
You know what's awesome? Having a closet packed with clothes that don't even come close to fitting you, but can't bear to throw them away since you just did a closet purge. I know, I know, everybody says that you should clear out your closet because most likely when you lose the weight the clothes wont be back in style.
You know what I would be left with if I did that? Shoes (most of them worn out), pj pants, boyfriend's old t-shirts, two shirts suitable for class, one pair of pants, and two skirts. Granted, thats a lot more than other people have, but it seems a little on the low side compared to what I'm used to.
My mom was so incredibly kind enough to send me a bit of cash so I could at least find something to wear to class.
I'll admit, going to a new mall, in a new city, all by myself was a little bit anxiety inducing. Whenever I found a store that had clothes I liked, I quickly discovered that none of them had sizes that would fit me.
So I broke through my own prejudice and mental barrier and went into Lane Bryant. And while I couldn't really afford anything I liked, but I managed to find a pair of tights I liked in a cool color.
On a whim, I stopped into another store, and I was easily the youngest person in there by 30 years. And by chance, they actually had some stuff that fit me well and was in my style.
Once I had blown through all my cash, I finally saw it. A plus size clothing store for women in their teens and twenties. The models were beautiful, and full figured. Both the sales clerks looked well put together, and both of them "looked" overweight. While I didn't buy anything there, I do know that if for whatever reason I come across more money to spend on clothes, I'll be able to find something.
Shopping was a humbling experience. But I refuse to choke down the lie that I'm not beautiful because of my size, and that I'm unworthy of looking well put-together.