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A Few Setbacks and an Apology to my Sparkfriends

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Good morning! I haven't blogged in a long time, and I have not been doing a very good job about communicating with my spark friends lately. emoticon For being so distant, I do apologize from the bottom of my heart.

This month has had challenges I never anticipated--some I feel comfortable sharing, others, I do not just because of the privacy issues related to the internet. So, to start off, this whole last week, I have been sick! emoticon I live in a city that is basically surrounded by cotton fields, and every year, I suffer from severe allergies that ultimately turn into a horrible sinus infection, and this year has been no different. I don't know all the particulars, but my friends who live outside the main city have mentioned that harvesting season for cotton is here, and that usually explains my burning nose, itchy eyes, incessant sneezing, swollen sore throat. You get the picture! This really set my progress back on working out this week, because I could barely function, outside of going to work.

Work. I can't discuss a lot here--let's just say there have been many things going on that have been a little more intense this month. It has required me to be in many different places at many different times. This, too, has been a bit of a set back with riding my bike to work; basically more occasions calling for me to be more prompt or more dressed up. I think that this should slow down after this week though....I'm hoping. emoticon

My feet! emoticon The pain has been steadily been increasing over the past few months. Now, when I wake up, the pain is almost excruciating! Thankfully I have an appointment with a highly recommended doctor (thanks Lori! emoticon) but it's not until November. My feet are such a huge setback for me, and it's so frustrating! It's gotten to the point that they hurt EVEN after I have exercised by riding my bike! This is a little to no impact exercise! emoticon Anyway, this leads me to my next setback that I had a few weeks ago....

emoticon If I could put little devil's horns on that scale picture, I WOULD!!! After MONTHS of eating SO much healthier than I used to, working out way more often than I did a year ago, I was just positive, absolutely 100% sure that I had lost weight! So, one morning, after not stepping one foot on that scale for several weeks, I decided, hey, let me check my progress. emoticon Not. One. Pound. Lost. In fact, I was back up to my starting weight +2. emoticon I got so upset and my husband took the scale to some unknown place (although I think it might have been the dumpster). I don't understand. I have been drinking water. I have been eating super super healthy, staying within my calorie range that Spark recommends. I have even been drinking spinach and kale and lettuce and other strange green items in the morning for breakfast!!! I haven't worked out as much as I should (thanks achy feet), but I have still made the effort to do something along the way, and I feel like I have accomodated that with lower calorie intake. So, here I am, a member of Sparkpeople since May, really doing everything I'm supposed to....and I don't even show it on the scale. I was so embarrassed, I didn't even feel like being a part of the spark community for a few days. For some reason, I thought I would be letting people down and I spent days blaming myself, slipping back into self hatred. I have continued to eat healthy, but then shortly after, I got sick. So, this kind of sums up what I have been dealing with the past few weeks.

So, last night, I was thinking about how I missed talking with all my new spark friends and how much I miss getting the FULL experience. I started talking with my husband about some of the other benefits I have had from this healthier way of living. Since we have been enjoying the yummy world of green drinks at least 5 days a week for breakfast and occasionally dinner for the last two months, I started to think over the positive benefits. First thing I want to mention. I haven't had a knock down sickening migraine in over two months. In fact, I hardly have headaches anymore, short of the ones associated to allergies. Secondly, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore. For 2+ years, I dealt with nausea, painstaking heartburn that blistered my throat at least once a week, stabbing pains in my stomach and intestines. I was finally diagnosed with gastritis (a condition that is bleeding in the stomach due to little holes caused by stress, improper diet, smoking and too much NSAIDs), all the things I dealt with on a daily basis. All of these symptoms have disappeared unless I have too much coffee, carbonation or spicy foods. Even then, the symptoms aren't half as bad as they were a year ago. I have also noticed a change in my overall energy, my skin, hair, eyes. So, although the devil scale likes to lie to me and tell me I'm not worth it, I know that the changes I'm making are for the long haul!

Yesterday, I went to a luncheon. We were served a giant salad that had some meats on it, and some bread. We also had tea and water to drink. One thing I noticed in the midst of eating, was that I have changed my perception of food! I went for the water first, before even looking at the tea, and I noticed at the end of my meal, I had eaten all the pretty green stuff on my plate and forgotten all about the bread! This was another small victory for me, but I know that I'm heading in the right direction. I just hope and pray that I can find something out to fix my feet. Not a temporary fix, or something to just make them feel better for a while. I mean, real healing! I think this will help me tremendously. I also understand that my metabolism is different being older and giving up smoking. Does anybody else miss the days of being 18 and eating what you want, and dropping weight just by running a brush through your hair?! emoticon

So, now, I will leave with a note of thanks to all of you for your support, encouragement, and for checking in on me even when I haven't been the most active spark person! emoticon I also wonder, did anyone else ever run into this issue of working really hard towards weight loss and not seeing results? Just curious! This is the first time I have done a life change towards healthier eating/living. I have always done the fad diets. Hope everyone is feeling lots of fall blessings! emoticon emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIAOAK 10/2/2012 8:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHANGINGSAM 9/27/2012 12:01PM

    Even though things are tough right now, I'm really proud of you for seeing positives. Seeing the negative side is so much easier.

Hope you feel better soon both with your allergies and feet!

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_LINDA 9/27/2012 1:22AM

    First of all, do NOT think your healthy lifestyle is a failure!! As you yourself said, so many other things have improved for you!! ANY time some aspect of your life gets better, you know you are on the right track! So very sorry for your foot pain :(( and work stress -that won't be helping any. May I suggest you turn to strength training? Really reef on that upper body (yes, Sparks has seated cardio and ST videos). Building muscle helps boost your metabolism and trim you up.
Have you been tracking everything you eat, weighing and measuring? It may seem you are eating way healthier then what it was before, but even healthier stuff can pack the pounds on if used too much. With reduced cardio, you have to set your fitness tracker to reflect this and then see the new calorie range you should be in. They work in tandem. Unless you are using both accurately, they aren't going to work for you. And remember cardio isn't doing household chores or walking to the corner store. Basic every day living activities are already accounted for in your basal metabolic rate. A lot of people go wrong thinking because they washed the dishes, vacuumed or cleaned out a closet they did cardio -wrong its accounted for.
Are you sleeping poorly because of the stress and pain? Lack of sleep does affect your weight loss efforts. One thing you should try is some daily meditation. Try to totally relax and take your mind off all the stresses going on. Before you try to sleep would be a good time.
Don't worry about not being in contact. It happens all the time in Sparkland. We actually have real lives that we must attend to and that is most important! You must do what is best and most convenient for YOU. We will be around when ever you have the time for contact. Not going anywhere!!
Take care of you!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAIDAMONTREAL 9/26/2012 2:09PM

    Sorry to hear all the stress you have been through. Although you have not lost weight like you would have wanted to at least you are looking at non scale victories (NSV). You have incurred many health benefits since eating healthier. I hope the doctor can help you with your feet. Perhaps you may need orthotics or maybe surgery (hopefully not) or maybe exercises. Hope everything goes well from here.

I had just started back to the gym on Saturday and then Sunday came down with a cold. I had not been to the gym for 3 months so was extremely dissappointed and felt that someone up there did not want me to get healthy which I know is not true. I started SP in May 2011 but have not lost much in the way of weight but probably by not working hard enough. Will get back into it once I get over this cold.

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KBRADFORD88 9/26/2012 12:02PM

    Pam (up above ) Is so right. Stress makes us hold onto weight. The body actually produces something called gremlin (I know I'm spelling that wrong) that helps us hold onto weight. And I wonder if you reset your calories to show no exercise in your tracker so you know how many calories to really eat. I'm so glad you have decided to see the other victories in your life. I mean no heartburn. How awesome that must feel. I know it is so hard to not care about the scale. I mean I won't lie. I care ! I have to just take a deep breath and if it's bad just admit it to everyone...I'm grumpy. And try to move on.

A couple of ideas for sinus junk and allergies. Netti pot is a life saver. Look into it at a drug store. pretty good. I buy the squeeze bottle.

But BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Life is rough some days or everyday. Treat yourself like an old friend. Best wishes, Kathy

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ITSTHENEWLAUREN 9/26/2012 11:51AM

  You have a ton of stuff going on right now! Hang in there! emoticon

emoticon Life does get in the way of sparking at times but the important thing is that you are learning to make good choices for you. I am glad you have an appointment with the doctor, sounds like you should be checked out. Take care of yourself and remember to breathe! Sounds simple but it's advice I need to give myself when things get hectic. emoticon

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PSTUDDARD 9/26/2012 10:45AM

    You have been under ALOT of stress. That can keep weight on. I know, I lost my job 2 weeks ago and got a new one (complete with tests, interviews, unknowns) a week ago. My weight ground to a HALT for a few days and then dropped by little itty bits. And i was killing myself with exercise and under 1000 calories. I took St. John's wort supplement to help with the stress! It seemed to work...that and KELP to help with iodine intake for thyroid.

Hang in there! I thought I was having a tough time, but after reading your blog and reading how well you are going despite illness/injury/work ...I think I can keep fighting too!

BTW...what R green drinks??

Take Care,
PAm emoticon

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