Good morning! I haven't blogged in a long time, and I have not been doing a very good job about communicating with my spark friends lately.
For being so distant, I do apologize from the bottom of my heart.
This month has had challenges I never anticipated--some I feel comfortable sharing, others, I do not just because of the privacy issues related to the internet. So, to start off, this whole last week, I have been sick!
I live in a city that is basically surrounded by cotton fields, and every year, I suffer from severe allergies that ultimately turn into a horrible sinus infection, and this year has been no different. I don't know all the particulars, but my friends who live outside the main city have mentioned that harvesting season for cotton is here, and that usually explains my burning nose, itchy eyes, incessant sneezing, swollen sore throat. You get the picture! This really set my progress back on working out this week, because I could barely function, outside of going to work.
Work. I can't discuss a lot here--let's just say there have been many things going on that have been a little more intense this month. It has required me to be in many different places at many different times. This, too, has been a bit of a set back with riding my bike to work; basically more occasions calling for me to be more prompt or more dressed up. I think that this should slow down after this week though....I'm hoping.
The pain has been steadily been increasing over the past few months. Now, when I wake up, the pain is almost excruciating! Thankfully I have an appointment with a highly recommended doctor (thanks Lori!
) but it's not until November. My feet are such a huge setback for me, and it's so frustrating! It's gotten to the point that they hurt EVEN after I have exercised by riding my bike! This is a little to no impact exercise!
Anyway, this leads me to my next setback that I had a few weeks ago....
If I could put little devil's horns on that scale picture, I WOULD!!! After MONTHS of eating SO much healthier than I used to, working out way more often than I did a year ago, I was just positive, absolutely 100% sure that I had lost weight! So, one morning, after not stepping one foot on that scale for several weeks, I decided, hey, let me check my progress.
Not. One. Pound. Lost. In fact, I was back up to my starting weight +2.
I got so upset and my husband took the scale to some unknown place (although I think it might have been the dumpster). I don't understand. I have been drinking water. I have been eating super super healthy, staying within my calorie range that Spark recommends. I have even been drinking spinach and kale and lettuce and other strange green items in the morning for breakfast!!! I haven't worked out as much as I should (thanks achy feet), but I have still made the effort to do something along the way, and I feel like I have accomodated that with lower calorie intake. So, here I am, a member of Sparkpeople since May, really doing everything I'm supposed to....and I don't even show it on the scale. I was so embarrassed, I didn't even feel like being a part of the spark community for a few days. For some reason, I thought I would be letting people down and I spent days blaming myself, slipping back into self hatred. I have continued to eat healthy, but then shortly after, I got sick. So, this kind of sums up what I have been dealing with the past few weeks.
So, last night, I was thinking about how I missed talking with all my new spark friends and how much I miss getting the FULL experience. I started talking with my husband about some of the other benefits I have had from this healthier way of living. Since we have been enjoying the yummy world of green drinks at least 5 days a week for breakfast and occasionally dinner for the last two months, I started to think over the positive benefits. First thing I want to mention. I haven't had a knock down sickening migraine in over two months. In fact, I hardly have headaches anymore, short of the ones associated to allergies. Secondly, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore. For 2+ years, I dealt with nausea, painstaking heartburn that blistered my throat at least once a week, stabbing pains in my stomach and intestines. I was finally diagnosed with gastritis (a condition that is bleeding in the stomach due to little holes caused by stress, improper diet, smoking and too much NSAIDs), all the things I dealt with on a daily basis. All of these symptoms have disappeared unless I have too much coffee, carbonation or spicy foods. Even then, the symptoms aren't half as bad as they were a year ago. I have also noticed a change in my overall energy, my skin, hair, eyes. So, although the devil scale likes to lie to me and tell me I'm not worth it, I know that the changes I'm making are for the long haul!
Yesterday, I went to a luncheon. We were served a giant salad that had some meats on it, and some bread. We also had tea and water to drink. One thing I noticed in the midst of eating, was that I have changed my perception of food! I went for the water first, before even looking at the tea, and I noticed at the end of my meal, I had eaten all the pretty green stuff on my plate and forgotten all about the bread! This was another small victory for me, but I know that I'm heading in the right direction. I just hope and pray that I can find something out to fix my feet. Not a temporary fix, or something to just make them feel better for a while. I mean, real healing! I think this will help me tremendously. I also understand that my metabolism is different being older and giving up smoking. Does anybody else miss the days of being 18 and eating what you want, and dropping weight just by running a brush through your hair?!
So, now, I will leave with a note of thanks to all of you for your support, encouragement, and for checking in on me even when I haven't been the most active spark person!
I also wonder, did anyone else ever run into this issue of working really hard towards weight loss and not seeing results? Just curious! This is the first time I have done a life change towards healthier eating/living. I have always done the fad diets. Hope everyone is feeling lots of fall blessings!