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Honestly, sometimes I have a problem being on Spark or any diet and fitness website. I just can't think about weight goals and fitness minutes right now because the thought of my failures in that department make me want to crawl in a hole and hide forever.

I cannot workout right now. I'm working to get my foot fixed, but my podiatrist said I need to take a few days completely off while he tries to heal the problem...which just adds to the ones I was already taken while it hurt. So I haven't worked out since my supervised workout with Jason last Thursday.

As for weight? I weighed 316 pounds when I started The Whole30 on September 23rd. Yep. I did that. Awesome, right?! Gained 20 pounds in less than a month. I got mad skillz. And because Whole30 says not to weigh yourself until you're done...I honestly have no clue how much I weigh right now. I did check on day 2 because I woke up and suddenly my pants were loose again, which I thought was just my mind playing tricks on me because how can anything happen in one day? But when I weighed the night of the 2nd day I was already down 2 pounds...probably bloating that was going away.

As for my experience thus far? It hasn't been that difficult really. I'm having some trouble with the kids' lunches and making sure our food doesn't get boring (especially veggies). I need to make the salad dressing they have in the book and the ranch dip as well. Also thinking to make the mayo up so I can make a big batch of deviled eggs, which I know the boys will gobble up. I just haven't had the time to tackle those things yet.

Speaking of my boys, I'm so very proud of both of them for trying to stick to it! Ethan has gotten so devoted that he will skip lunch (which is bad, and we're making sure his lunch is packed the night before now so he doesn't forget) instead of eating what they give him which is full of no-nos. Logan even admitted to eating the meat they served the other day without the bun and then eating the fruit and that was it because everything else he knew to be off limits. I honestly expected him to cheat every single day of this challenge, but he even packed his own lunch last night of some leftover frittata, a Pure Wrap roll-up with almond butter and banana and a fruit leather. I threw in a hard-boiled (read: baked) egg for him as well, but there wasn't time for me to correct the no vegetable issue before he ran out the door this morning. I'm going to talk to him about it tonight and we're going to find some veggies he likes to eat raw.

Ethan's lunch was a little better. He's getting more used to this now because he's been packing his lunch because of the no dairy restriction for a couple months now. Today he had some leftover coconut crusted chicken, cauliflower, a fruit strip, an apple with a side of almond butter and 2 hard boiled (read: baked) eggs.

As for me? I have a salad with coconut crust pieces, some ground beef, mushrooms, and a hard boiled (read: baked) egg. Which I'm going to have to force down because I haven't had time to make the dressing yet and I honestly 100% doubt there will be any I can pick up or buy at the CVS or in the fridge (some people leave those packets they get from Wendy's and stuff) that don't contain no-no ingredients - especially sugar. I'll take a look. Maybe someone snuck in a vinagrette that's safe...but I doubt it.

Leaving work at noon today because Ethan has an appointment with a GI Specialist. I'm hoping he thinks our new diet restrictions (at least the no dairy one) constitute steps in the right direction. I'm also hoping he doesn't find any blockage whatsoever. I don't know...I think it's been a while that there shouldn't be anything left causing any problems. We shall see.

Tomorrow? Big huge interview which I am not mentally or emotionally ready for. Honestly, I haven't felt this strongly about wanting a job since I flew to NY that one time a couple years ago. Let's hope this one goes better. It's basically all the best parts of my current job, with some new stuff thrown in that I'll get to learn about housing and mortgage lending, and some public speaking as well. I do have a contact there...I just hope she remembers me. And if there was ever a chance that my main reference would get me in...this is it. So fingers and toes crossed. (BTW - It also means more money...like a considerably higher salary and one that would have us not struggling as much...we might actually be able to consider looking at houses some day in the next year or so if this happens. The pressure of all my hopes and dreams riding on this makes me want to vomit.)

So, yeah. 10% done with this. Pushing my way through fog-head on Day 4 now and hoping I feel much better tomorrow. Lots of prep to do tonight with putting together a professional outfit of clothes that actually fit (having issues with that right now...nothing fits quite right any more whether it's too big or too small...). Anyhow. *fingers crossed* *eyes open* *heart hopeful*

Take care y'all! I'll try to brave the waters and update you all again soon!