Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Having a hard time trying to keep within my calorie count. I find myself always in the upper range or surpassing it by two -three hundred calories. It doesn't help that I totally go off the wagon on the weekends so not being able to do this is getting kind of hard.
To top it off I saw recent photos of myself today, I am usually the one behind the camera, not the subject so I was horrified to see myself as others see me. Heavy. To make it worse in almost every picture I was scowling like I looked angry, even though I wasn't. It hurts to see myself like that, its hard to see reality.
My biggest problem is that the harder I try to lose weight the more weight I pack on.
I still feel like I am in a good mood but this is something that just bothers me. Right now I feel irritated, I need some me time, I need to decompress, and just relax. How is it I still feel happy though?
Love, the future me