jealous of her eating disorder *headdesk*
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
This is awful. Possibly trigger-y if you're anorexic -- I'm apologizing in advance. I'm being a pretty crappy human being today.
So, my neighbor. She's gorgeous. Also incredibly nice, like the kind of nice where you wonder what she's up to, you know? But after a couple years living near her, my conclusion is -- she's just a really nice person. She's also recovering anorexic/bulimic who shared with me horror stories about a year in rehab, a body weight so low her organs were shutting down, and the evil, awful stuff that happened to her as a kid that caused all this grief.
I cried when she told me her story. I admire her courage in having a baby and just freaking living her life every day. But damned if I'm not also consumed with envy that she's lost 18 pounds in a month. Her son made a comment about her tummy (nice kid), she freaked out, hit the gym for two hours every day, says she didn't stop eating, but I don't know... she's 18 pounds down, one month later.
Now I know, I KNOW, that this could be the recurrence of her disease. It's scary. I'm scared for her. I'm also blindingly jealous. Nice, huh? I feel like a real piece of work today.
(I feel even worse now that I've written this out. Wow. I better just call it a day and do better tomorrow.)