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Sunday, September 23, 2012

HOW CAN ONE NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONAL? That is something I need to learn.

I read a book called the Four Agreements by Ruiz and in it he expounds how one of the most important things is not to take things personal since it is the other person outside of you and not you that generates these actions and feelings. Sounds so good in theory but to live it is another story. Why I must internalize things is beyond me, take many people in my family they have no trouble whatsoever blaming all that is wrong in their life on other people and don't feel bad not for a moment since it wasn't Why can't I be more like that?

I always felt I need to take responsibility for all that happens in my life...then I can do something about the part I have in it....this seems to work for me on many levels... but when you are working with people who do things wrong and try to make others pay for it and do it in such a way that blame you seems to tick me off. That angst unfortunately goes nowhere good since I feel insulted and hurt that that person would do that to another.

Case in point I spent three months time and a great deal of money and a lawyer to make a contract that would prevent the builder from nickel and diming me on the project and what happens he is nickel and diming me. His favorite thing when he is ready to hit me up for more money is we misunderstood, or we were confused I then pull out the contract and show him that there is no confusion in the words that define and set clear what we both agreed upon from day one. He still has the nerve to look at me like a have two heads and talk to us like we have alzheimer's. Also, as a builder he has a talent of keeping the amount he asks for (and was not agreed upon) always a little bit lower what it would cost to get a lawyer to enforce the contract. May God grant me the serenity and peace to put up with this nonsence for the next four months...Sorry for the anger but where do you put it sometimes.

I am going to pray more, try to walk more and spend more time with my spark friends here who give me hope and keep my awareness up so maybe I will not lose as much as I want going through this stress but hopefully not gain what I would have.

Thank you for being there for me sorry to write a negative blog. People always told me builders are trouble....I believed them but thought I put the time and effort and cost to avoid these issues...I was wrong....LEOPARDS DON'T CHANGE THEIR SPOTS....LOL


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yvonne, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. Sometimes I wonder how some people can sleep at night. I guess that if you're good at cheating and ripping people off, it doesn't bother you. It only bothers the good people like you that can't sleep because of their sleaziness. Hope all gets better. (Hugs) Noel
    1946 days ago
    I think in most places Contractors have to be licensed. Can't you complain to that licensing board? It sounds like very unprofessional conduct to me. I hope you get some relief and some good outcome to this situation.
    1947 days ago
    So sorry you're having so much trouble. I can't believe your lawyer isn't handling things for you. Hope things get better soon and you get some satisfaction in your struggles. Take care and try not to let the stress get to you too much!

    1947 days ago
  • JILL313
    When I had my kitchen remodeled about 6 years ago I went with Home Depot which is a huge hardware type store. They actually just subcontract it out but overall it was a positive experience. But more people have awful experiences like you are having. I'm so sorry as it sounds super stressful on you. Can't your lawyer do anything to help or maybe it should be him/her dealing with the Builder as he sounds unethical and greedy. I'm a really sensitive person but as I've gotten older I've had to learn to stand up for myself.more Sometimes I feel almost ruthless dealing with business but being too nice hasn't gotten me anywhere with these unethical people. I guess I'm venting with you--sorry about that. I'm so glad you're on our Team as you add a lot to it. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Enjoy your evening. I think you'll be interested in the New Question I'll be posting later on tonight. Take good care.

    Hugs & Love,

    1947 days ago
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