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    BETHIEBOOPS   11,048
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

Has it really been more than a week?

Sunday, September 23, 2012

It feels like forever since I've updated you all with my shenanigans. I will be able to be a lot clearer in my heart progress next week as I take another week to focus on me, and my internal progress and less about my weight. So stay tuned for next week's blog. I'm looking forward to sharing what I've been up to the last few weeks.

I am a wee bit frustrated that since announcing 1 lbs to go to 50 pounds, I picked up 2. Meerp. But you know what? Whatever. I'll get there when I get there.

I am still under the weather, so my nutrition has not been optimum. BUT I am not gaining (other than those 2 pounds that were in the same week and could just be a fluctuation) so all in all success.

I have also really toned down my exercise. August I killed with 90 minutes of intense exercise a day and really burned myself out. I am going slower, sticking to walking with the Hubs and brisk window shopping. It makes me feel like I am active without feeling pressure to "perform". I am also counting calories less strictly, but still adhering to a low calorie diet. Last time I saw my doctor, she asked me to raise my intake to 1300 so I am trying to work out the new flow of what 1300 calories feels and looks like in my day to day living.

Also, I found a really GREAT new dress that is the most comfy thing in the entire world. AND it was too big at a size 16. I was overjoyed. I know this brand runs big- so it was probably a US16 not a UK16 (which is strangely different in cut) and it's nice to think that if I travel to the US again I can happily plop myself into a 14.

It's strange to think that my BMI is still "Obese" but I am shopping at normal regular stores, that I eat normal healthy regular foods, and that my body is responding to all my tests in normal regular ways. I am living proof that BMI should not be the only health standard. Because I certainly don't feel obese.

And that leads me to my next point. I am no longer aiming for 141 pounds (half my start weight). I am only aiming for 102 down at 180 pounds. While I still have moments of perfectionism rearing up, I am not a child and can make the right decision based on the facts not on societal pressure. I am not binding myself by the BMI scale any longer. If I still want to drop weight at 180, that's a-okay, but I have looked at what 150 pounds looks like on someone of my build and height, and I don't want to look like that. I love my curves - sure, I lament about how they are shrinking disproportionately, and I am totally keen to be a bit smaller, but at this moment, there isn't anything I can't do.

I can run. I can sit in any size chair. I can skip and hop and dance. My size is not limiting my actions, it is not limiting my health. I am beautiful and strong and lovely. I don't hate myself at 282 pounds, and I don't hate myself at 235pounds. My body is doing exactly what it should be. And how can I hate it for that?

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PUNKY100 9/26/2012 6:28AM

    Wooooooooooo!!!! You are so cute and I love your outlook :-D Rock those curves all day every day! :-D

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HANNAHEP 9/23/2012 11:48PM

    you look SOOOO cute!!!
And congrats on realizing that it's better to wait to get to -50 lbs until you're ready than to overexert yourself and end up falling hard!
Enjoy your gorgeous new dress!

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PRAIRIECROCUS 9/23/2012 11:27PM


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WINDSONG27 9/23/2012 9:05PM

    I always love reading your posts

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ADARKARA 9/23/2012 4:03PM

    Great post! And I think you have a great body shape! The one thing that makes me mad about my own body is that I'm plus sized but I'm only a C cup, so I never filled out in the bosom. =(

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NIKKICOLE83 9/23/2012 3:42PM

    AMEN to that sister!!!! Your curves are what make you a sexy woman. Not many men want women that look like pre-pubescent boys. I am also supposed to be in the 149-163 lb range to be "normal". Considering I am 5'9 I think I would look like a strung out drug addict. Heck you may find that you get to 190 and absolutely Loooove your body and won't lose another pound. It is all up to you and what is going to make you strut around your home naked and happy!

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AMCLELLAN 9/23/2012 3:00PM

    Beautiful blog. Beautiful picture. Beautiful outlook.
I completely agree with the BMI thing. I too am still in the Obese range (barely 1.6 lbs to go, hehe) But I too can shop in normal clothing stores/sections.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HALINHALF 9/23/2012 12:56PM

    Great outlook! :-) It's also nice to see others taking breaks too, I was almost trying to justify not taking a break with running, because no one else seemed to be doing so. But our bodies do need to heal if we over push it sometimes.

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CORVINESQUE 9/23/2012 3:43AM

    What a beautiful blog post. Yes, you are beautiful and strong, and it's so great that you aren't letting society's opinion influence your own.

That dress looks wonderful on you, by the way. I would never look at you and think obese, I would think gorgeous.

Good for you for listening to your body's needs re: exercise and nutrition.

I'm looking forward to next week's blog.

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JACOBSBELOVED 9/23/2012 2:55AM

    THANK YOU!!!!! I hate BMI! I read an article a little while back about how it was created by a mathematician in the 19th century. He supposedly wasn't even a doctor. I always had my doubts about BMI being the only real way to tell whether someone is healthy or not. So a 250 lb body builder is obese like that 250 lb couch potato?? Not fair and it just doesn't seem right. Unfortunately, BMI is what matters as far as my health insurance. The higher my BMI, the more I have to pay. Good for you for not giving in to pressure from society.

Good for you for loving your body! You're quite rare. Many, many women have a hard time loving themselves and it's really unfortunate that they cannot see their own beauty. I have always been accepting of my body (perhaps a bit too accepting) so I'm really trying to lose weight for health. It would make it easier, though, if it was for vanity reasons. :)

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STEPH-KNEE 9/23/2012 2:29AM

    You are amazing and you look fabulous!! I would kill to get into a size 16 let alone a 14, so you rock so much!

Stupid fluctuations on the scale, I had one this morning and it'd better disappear tomorrow LOL. I don't want to dip into 49 pounds lost again, it'll kill me LMAO. It's like 50 is a magic number or something ha ha. ;)

You are so awesome, and I definitely think at your height and your body shape and everything you are going to be a freakin knock out at 180! I feel the same way about if I want to lose more after sure... I know I'm still going to be a chubby chick at 180 (I'm only 5'7) but if I'm chubby and happy then I don't care. If I am chubby and wishing to lose a few more, so be it.

The BMI system is totally flawed and you are physical proof of that. :)

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