Back to focusing on me again after a 2 year break
Sunday, September 23, 2012
So it has literally been little over two years since I have used Spark people and a lot has happened to me in two years. I guess as I approached 29 and there after before I reached 30 it was pivotal year. First I went through a complete spiritual metamorphosis where I went from being raised in/practicing in a high control Christian fundamentalist group to just being a spiritual person belonging to no denomination or religion. In that one year I got out of an unhealthy marriage where I had spent years lying to myself that everything was okay and I could deal with it. Well...I was done just dealing with it and had the guts to finally do something about it and it all pretty much started when I decided that I was going to work on myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally and stop being a people pleaser. I just looked at myself and could no longer just go through with a life I had settled for and not the life that I really wanted.
So I had lost some weight from September through January of 2011 because I had started a jogging/walking routine plus a weight training routine combined at home and I was doing good and about the same time my marriage just started to reach a point of no return in unraveling very quickly. By March 2011 I moved out and went back home to my parents house and I even got my old room back. In that time I reconnected with my first love and it was like going home again when we finally met up after not seeing each other for 9 years. It was at that point I decided I had to get out of the city I grew up in and move 500 miles away to where my my guy lived and worked. I guess I just needed a new fresh start and I JUMPED at the opportunity with no fear, if it was a year earlier I would have been too afraid to change anything in my life even if I was really unhappy. I was tired of being depressed and tired of being oppressed by certain people in my life...I put up with a lot back then but not any more.
Then to make life a little more complicated, I found we were going to have a baby. This was the baby I had always wanted in my first marriage that I never had. I think it was all that stress and unhealthy environment that prevented me from getting pregnant. Things happen for a reason right? In addition to finding out we were going to be parents, we also made plans to visit my man's family who lived in the UK that same summer. I love traveling and seeing new places but traveling while in your first trimester was not as fun but I made the best of it. lol It was totally crazy looking back how everything just changed drastically in my life because I finally decided I deserved better in life. I had found my self worth and it was okay to be happy. In February 2012 our daughter was born. She has changed my life so much in so many positive ways. However, I was overweight while pregnant with her and gained an additional 40 lbs on top of what I weighed originally pre-pregnancy. I also had a c-section so getting my strength back has been really difficult with the added blow of having gestational asthma. Anything vigorous, such as climbing steps to taking a brisk walk was nearly impossible. I couldn't really exercise like I wanted to. I had to start my fitness from scratch, like I never even exercised before, even though in my 20s I was an avid gym goer and pretty fit.
Now my daughter is 7 months old and I finally feel ready to get this thing conquered. This is me trying to finish what I started.