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Can I really do this?

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I am sitting in my bed ,after having a slice of toast with butter,my 10th slice and feeling sorry for myself.I ate an apple in the morning and bran flakes with skim milk followed by another apple and 4 slices of bread with jam and tea.then I had two more slices of toast and another apple and youghurt with more bran flakes.later for dinner I had a full plate of rice with veggies and chutney sauce and later another 4 slices of toast and cool drink.

What is wrong with this picture? I was bored and kept flipping through the tv channels.I am also anxious about meetings I have to prapare for in the upcoming week.I have to travel for work and I hate it.This past Friday I went to an interview for which I must have failed because I couldnt answer a third of the questions,I mumbled through some answers despite the interviewers' best efforts to give me hints to the answers.Last week I ate half of my son's birthday cake and so the whole week followed with a domino effect of bad eating. My hubby also found out that he has to take better care of his health or be on chronic medication for life.I am trying to be strong and he is kinda in denial.

I identify the triggers of my bad eating but why can I not stop eating. I feel like someone should give me a sleeping pill that will make me sleep through what I am presently going through and wake me up when things are looking rosier.

I can sense some self doubt going through my head and I feel worthless and doubtful that I deserve to be or that am meant to be slimmer.I feel like such a failure.Can I suceed at this journey? Is there a point where I can fully say I can fully come out of this victorious?

I have read people's spar pages for motivation and nothing seems to work.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i woke up feeling like I should forget about yesterday and start on a clean slate and on track with my eating. I heeded your advises and forgave myself for the binge session.I feel renewed.

    2004 days ago
    Once binging starts, it is so very hard to stop. It can feel like trying to stop a runaway train. So first, give yourself a bit of grace and acknowledge just how hard this is. Be gentle and forgiving. Extend yourself loving compassion for the place you're in. Then breathe. Go for a walk. Even just a short, casual walk with your son and/or husband. Take a bath. Call a friend. Write in your journal about what your hunger might be trying to tell you. Try to wait out a craving by 5 minutes. Drink water. I know that in the middle of a binge, these all sound trite. And your binging does not want to be stopped. It will continue to yell in your ear until it has exhausted itself and loosens its grip. Know that you are not alone.

    You sound like you're stressed and feeling anxious. For me, the only thing that works to relieve stress and manage anxiety is to exercise often and exercise hard.

    Finally, I agree with Crissa1669 and what she says about motivation. Motivation will get you started. But it won't carry you through the long haul. What you do after the excitement fades and you settle into the long haul is what will get you to your goals. Small steps every day. Tracking your food. Exercising. Pushing yourself to go 5 seconds longer or to do 1 more rep or to let yourself feel a little bit hungry. Those little actions, over time, add up to big results.

    I wish you all the best. Hugs!
    2004 days ago
  • CRISSA1669
    This sounds like a rough time, I am sorry. I hope that I can help to encourage you that you are well able to do this but it is ONLY you...perhaps you can look at things in a different way. What about taking motivation out of the equation....don't get me wrong. It is great when you are motivated whether by a person, a particular weight goal, a trip and prize..whatever...these are all fine and good. But the reality is, it is not going to be motivation that is going to get you through the majority of this journey, it is going to be straight out eating less, moving more and doing it consistently. No magic pill, outfit, no song and dance just hard work. I believe that motivation is optional in this journey, it is not a requirement. YOu will get out what you put in and it's going to take some work. And you have to decide what price you are willing to "pay" to get to whatever goal you have. I understand the feeling of being out of control when it comes to food, I understand the complete lack of self control to stop stuffing my face....because let's face it, food tastes good. But so many times we are not eating for hunger we are eating to fill THAT space and if we are going to win this battle with obesity we've Got to replace that. Don't overwhelm yourself starting out, start small. I am the biggest advocate for planning and accountability. Use the tracker to track your food.....use it faithfullly, track everything. Then when you see what is going in your body you can make decision as to how many more carbs, fats etc you have left for the day and then YOU can decide what else will go in...I found the tracking put me in the driver's seat. Then start to move, whether walking, gym whatever you decide to do..just DO SOMETHING and do it faithfully. Ok, sorry, I don't mean to write a book on your page. I just wanted you to know that it's NOT hopeless, this can be done one day at a time!! But your path and where it will lead is ONLY up to you. I pray blessings for you in this. Chin up, you are certainly not alone in this :)
    2005 days ago
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