I've come to far to go back now...
Saturday, September 22, 2012
The 5k was great, awesome, fabulous, but what have I done since that time two weeks ago? Nothing. Well, not nothing completely. I've eaten... a lot. I've overindulged, filled up and stuffed myself.
Really? All that hard work just to turn back now. No, I just can't do that.
Last night I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror. My clothes are still loose and fit so much better and my face is thinner. When I smile, you can see my cheek bones and you can actually tell where my cheeks stop and my chin begins - a few months ago, they just sort of blended together.
I am beginning to like what I see in the mirror. I even took a picture of myself - and promptly deleted it (I still have a ways to go). I realize that liking who I see in the mirror takes more than losing a few pounds, but I've always avoided the camera. This is more an issue of liking what I see vs. liking who I see.
Regardless, do I really want to let all of my hard work go?
As I looked in the mirror I pictured myself as I had been before I started this adventure. I felt so swollen and big that even my shoulders felt fat. My shoulders! I don't feel like that anymore. Yes, I haven't lost a ton of weight, but what I have lost has been fat and I can tell by the changes I've seen in my body.
So I had to ask myself a question and I really made myself look in the mirror and think about it. Do I want to go back? I can honestly answer, no. Not the kind of no that just says not in this moment, not for right now, I mean - I never want to go back. I want to move forward.
So this morning I went back to the gym. I tried some new stuff to rest my stupid foot that is still trying to slow me down. I stuck to the bike and elliptical. I really like the treadmill, I know it doesn't burn a lot of calories compared to the others, but it's something I enjoy. Maybe one day I can go back to it after my foot heals, but for now this is one excuse I will not let myself use anymore.
On the way home from the gym, I stopped at the store and bought some of my favorite healthy foods so I would have some "go to" meals.
I've put a few pounds back on over the last two weeks. Two to be exact, which makes sense as I usually lose one/week, so gaining two in two seems about right. If I'm lucky, they will both fall off by my next weigh-in. If not, I will fight them to the bitter end. Why? Because I'm NOT going back.
Onward we go...