Saturday, September 22, 2012
Being overweight is not a punishment for some past transgression. Youíre nodding your head in agreement but the first time there is a misstep the mind monkeyís start making all those monkey noises and suddenly youíre reliving the second grade when you pilfered your best friendís dessert. Iím not preaching, Iíve been there and I have done that. When I joined Spark close to three years ago and lost weight in massive chunks I was, as Travis Tritt once sang ďTen feet tall and bullet proof.Ē I was never going to hit one of them there plateau things nor was I going to ever regain any weight either. Wanna know whatís worse? I would sorta-kinda look down my nose at those folks who did have ďissues.Ē Poor people, they just didnít get it. Well, my plateau lasted close to two years and did I tell you during that time of self-punishment I regained all the weight Iíd lost?
We punish ourselves for so many things that go beyond our control. We are overweight for a variety of reasons but lack of character and moral fiber isnít one of them. (I know lottsa skinny people who are mean.) When things donít go as planned we donít look at adjusting the plan to suit our own circumstances we immediately stare at the floor and pull out the whip and begin telling ourselves to ďDo better,Ē whatever that is. I mean, we had to do something wrong, right? If we hadnít then weíd be like all the beautiful people we envy so often.
Question for you, do you ever take your car to the mechanic, tell him your check engine light is on and then proceed to let him know it probably happened because of something you did when you were 18? Nope, you let him diagnosis the problem, repair the car. You ask what caused the situation. You donít pull over to the curb and look in the rear view mirror and say ďYou nasty, nasty person you!!!!!Ē This journey is yours and yours alone. Itís like going to buy a suit or a dress. We all donít walk around wearing the same thing because our tastes are different and some things fit other people better than others.
We stumble, we fall and get back up and say ďHmmmmmm what do I need to adjust here?Ē Real health is about establishing mindful behavior. Itís about looking at yourself, no matter how painful that process may be and making corrections to move you towards balance. Iím in the middle of that process. I am an emotional eater. I have started asking myself, why? I wonít bore you with all the details but Iíve found my thoughts and ideas are linked to my behavior. Tara Brach writes that things that are real arenít always true. We may feel hurt and alone and engage in all kinda of destructive behavior because we believe that we are not capable of being loved. The feelings are true and real. We hurt, we suffer and we are in pain. Are we unlovable? Uhmmmm, no. As long as there is a Divine Presence in this universe we are bound and joined by love. Our pain is real; our reasons for being in pain arenít always true.
Okay, enough Saturday philosophy. That will teach Joan to leave home all alone while she goes to a craft show!!! (I know I coulda gone but Iím not in a crafty mood today.) I tell you all this stuff to illustrate a behavior. I changed my weigh in date from Sunday to Saturday. It fits my schedule and my comfort level much better and I just feel more relaxed doing it that way. I listened to myself and my body and soul. I became mindful to the real purpose of this journey. Itís for me to be happy and healthy. They go hand in hand.
Weight loss is not a punishment and nutrition should not be a restriction because we donít see ourselves as other people see us. It is our loving practice of making the whole us all we can be and during that process we find the real love inside of us.
So I weighed myself this morning and there is two pounds less of me then there was Sunday. Itís almost inconsequential. Iím learning so much more the second time through. Itís all about me. You Too!!!! Listen to yourself, love who you are and then go out there and light a dark corner with one of your best smiles.