Saturday, September 22, 2012
I've written in the past about going through so many changes as I have in the past few years. I'm so grateful for what I've been through because it has caused so much strength in me that was not there previously. The different ways I think and react now are so incredible to me. I always wonder if I hadn't been through my previous pain, what would I be like now? Obviously, I'll never know that answer and I'm okay with it because I like who I've become...but the wonder is still there just a tad.
I've been training for a 5k for the past month and have really enjoyed it. I've ran 5k's before, but those were ran to just say I did it. This one I had a goal of finishing in under 20 mins. I've loved the challenge of beating my previous time each time I train. It makes me feel like a competitive little kid and I almost laugh at being so challenging with myself, but it's been a great motivation and challenge for me. And best of all, I'm having a lot of fun with it.
NOW I went and took too long of a stride in my fastest run yet, and whammoe I've pulled my hamstring and having to ice 8 times a day 20 mins each time. So needless to say it is the weekend, those 2 days I wait all week long for and I can't run. I can walk and ST, but to those runners who understand what I'm saying here....I'm sad and feel deprived. But thankful it's just a pull that seems to already be feeling much better so the runs will start again next week.
In the old days, I would have taken this setback and probably thrown all my training out the window. I used to live in a very defeated mindset, which went along with the relationship I was dealing with back then. So to see that the first thing I did this time when I realized I would not be able to train this weekend, was to come up with a solution that didn't have me laying in bed all day, eating crapola for meals and in a nutshell just feeling sorry for myself. That's a huge change in mindset for me and it is what I've been working towards for many years. I MADE IT!! I'm now able to say I've worked through the old stuff and the new stuff is ingrained in me. I'm now fully accountable for myself and my choices and I can never again say anything different. I just love that.
I've learned that by surrounding myself with people who are like-minded and who truly love me has made the biggest difference in my life. My love is my rock. He is always there talking to me, encouraging me and watching out for me. His words mean so much and that is something I cherish about him. I had the complete opposite for many years of my life, so this gem of a man I've been blessed with is a man that I respect and appreciate with all of my heart.
I love the saying "I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor" because it takes the essence of recovery from abusive situations and gives you power. And we all need that kind of power in our lives to be able to live our best life.