Hard to accept my new emerging shape, & other dilemmas
Thursday, September 20, 2012
The more weight that I lose, the more I am starting to realize that I've been a pear shaped lady and NEVER knew it! How could this be...when all the while I considered myself proportional or slightly hour glass! At first I thought the 50 lbs I've lost just hasn't caught up to my bottom half. But as I was reading online, truly pear shaped women will continue to lose up top, even if they aren't large up top anymore, and the bottom half will always be the last to lose.
Your shape is also more genetic than anything. So even if I was able to get down to my target weight and be in the normal range, I would still more than likely have a pear shape. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being pear shaped!! It's just that I never thought I was, and now I'm learning to accept that my previously larger body was never its true shape because I was never meant to carry that much weight around. My dilemma now is trying to figure out if there is a way to even out the weight loss a bit. I'm thinking of going back to Pilates because if nothing else, it will possibly help tone up those areas which have become problematic. I just don't want to end up a stick on top and a rock on the bottom, KWIM?
Perhaps acceptance of myself and things unknown is a far bigger obstacle right now than losing these last 50 lbs. Maybe I'm just freaking out over everything because I'm starting to realize my goal is attainable. I think all of us on our weight loss journey have learned more about ourselves than we could ever think possible. I am learning that this hasn't just been about the weight, or even controlling my diabetes. This has been about trying to learn to love myself no matter what shape, size or weight that I am. I am learning to love and appreciate life more. I am hoping that one day I can truly love the person who stares back at me in the mirror. I know I have gone too far to give up now, but it isn't an easy battle we have chosen to fight! Diligence. Diligence. Diligence.