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Hard to accept my new emerging shape, & other dilemmas

Thursday, September 20, 2012

The more weight that I lose, the more I am starting to realize that I've been a pear shaped lady and NEVER knew it! How could this be...when all the while I considered myself proportional or slightly hour glass! At first I thought the 50 lbs I've lost just hasn't caught up to my bottom half. But as I was reading online, truly pear shaped women will continue to lose up top, even if they aren't large up top anymore, and the bottom half will always be the last to lose.

Your shape is also more genetic than anything. So even if I was able to get down to my target weight and be in the normal range, I would still more than likely have a pear shape. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being pear shaped!! It's just that I never thought I was, and now I'm learning to accept that my previously larger body was never its true shape because I was never meant to carry that much weight around. My dilemma now is trying to figure out if there is a way to even out the weight loss a bit. I'm thinking of going back to Pilates because if nothing else, it will possibly help tone up those areas which have become problematic. I just don't want to end up a stick on top and a rock on the bottom, KWIM?

Perhaps acceptance of myself and things unknown is a far bigger obstacle right now than losing these last 50 lbs. Maybe I'm just freaking out over everything because I'm starting to realize my goal is attainable. I think all of us on our weight loss journey have learned more about ourselves than we could ever think possible. I am learning that this hasn't just been about the weight, or even controlling my diabetes. This has been about trying to learn to love myself no matter what shape, size or weight that I am. I am learning to love and appreciate life more. I am hoping that one day I can truly love the person who stares back at me in the mirror. I know I have gone too far to give up now, but it isn't an easy battle we have chosen to fight! Diligence. Diligence. Diligence.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LUVLYATHENA 9/23/2012 9:17PM

    CHSHULER89 Thank you, that is so very kind! I'm glad my journey can relate to yours! I think we've all been made to feel helpless in controlling our weight, but I am seeing more every day how so many are winning their battle with their weight loss! Congratulations on your success!! I know it must be a great feeling when you can truly look at yourself and love what you see. And it sounds like you must have a great support system, and I know that is a big key to success!

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CHSHULER89 9/23/2012 5:44PM

    So understand! My shape is starting to even out, but i still have more work to do. It's so exciting to see how far we have come! You can do it! You are! You will get stronger physically and mentally. It is an awesome and sometime scary feeling, but so worth it. Reading your blog brought tears, that is how i have felt, you will love yourself more and more each day you go through this journey! I have been blessed to have a personal trainer, we use the mirrors to make sure we are lifting right for strength training and I'm loving myself more that I am looking in the mirror. Good luck with your diabetes! Keep up the great work!

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STHAX10 9/20/2012 9:01PM

    emoticon I understand where you are coming from. As I continued to walk, ride bike and strength train, I see me leveling out. It will get better and it will be worth it. emoticon

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LUVLYATHENA 9/20/2012 7:23PM

    Oh I also have resistance bands and an exercise ball too with the Pilates kit.

Comment edited on: 9/20/2012 7:24:31 PM

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LUVLYATHENA 9/20/2012 7:20PM

    Thanks to you both! The whole strength training thing is a new concept to me....I just have to figure out how I can do it with the tools I have. I can't get to a gym because I quit driving due to stress seizures and nerves. I have a Pilates kit which has weighted hand balls...and I have an elliptical machine which i used for a few months but I felt I wasn't getting results. I could use it and increase the resistance and then do the Pilates and the hand weights too. Certain things knock me out pretty easy because of the diabetes so it's a bit touch and go as far as what I can physically do. But I think I can handle the previously mentioned exercises. I walk everyday though, so I am wondering do i do it in conjunction with it or switch it up every other day. Not sure what my limits are just yet.

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SILLYLILME 9/20/2012 6:57PM

  My body did a bit of the same thing. It will even itself out eventually but I remember going through periods where parts of me were obviously skinnier than the rest. Your body will pick and chose where to burn the fats reserves but strength training is a MUST to help it along. Way to go on your loss!!

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SALONKITTY 9/20/2012 6:22PM

    Congratulations on your weight loss and new shape!

Strength training with weights (free weights--barbells and dumbbells are best) is what you want to do to "even things out". Don't worry about being "bulky" or getting larger, as it's not gonna happen so long as you're a female (you don't have enough testosterone to get big muscles like guys do) and not eating insane amounts of food, which, since you're here on SP and losing weight, I'm guessing you're not. You can also strength train doing bodyweight exercises. I do a bit of both.


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