Thursday, September 20, 2012
I can always tell when my Left Brain and Right Brain are at odds over a particular issue. Most of the time they get along pretty well, each contributing her gifts and each making room for the other. I get my house clean almost every week (LB) but if I miss a week or two or even three (RB) there's no scolding about it. I don't fail to clean house because I'm defective. I fail to get it done because Better Things - Important Things - Things Outside of Routine have come up.
But when those two strong personalities - or better said - two strong aspects of my personality - are at odds, recognizable symptoms appear:
I buzz off
I'm a victim of temptation
I feel anxious
I feel (a little) like a looser - and not a weight looser either - but a failure
For a month now I've been dancing around 4 stupid pounds - pounds that should have melted away in time for my big 60th birthday. They haven't. It's time I check in with those girls and find out what's going on.
LB So - how are you today?
RB Good. I'm good.
LB Can you tell me why we're not loosing those last 4 pounds?
LB Yes. I like candy too. Are you afraid you can never have candy again?
LB I think we can have some fun at parties. I'll have to get off my duff and plan for them, but I think we can do it
LB What are you scared of?
RB What if we gain it all back?
LB LOL ... we might. We've done it several times. Do you think I won't love you if we gain weight again?
RB Yes. I guess I do. And I don't want to be a failure.
LB No. neither do I. And I will always love you. Always. Besides, we're never really failures. Honest. We're a great team. We've done lots of fabulous things in the past 60 years. Being fat is just one part of who we are. I think - being fit is just one part of who we are, too.
RB It's true. We have done a lot of really great things together.
LB Yes - look at the library! and look at what a wonderful person William is. And how happy Himself is. How much he loves us! And remember - Priss the Dog decided that in the whole world, the one safe good place was at our house - and she lived here for 11 years of joy filled goodness.
RB Yeah. and we've played the violin and taught people how to knit and swooped a thousand toddlers at story hour over the last 32 years!
LB so you see? Fat - that's just one small part of who we are - and just like learning how to draw or learning how to knit or learning how to play the violin - we can learn how to be ... Not Fat.
RB oh. I see.
LB so. What else is keeping us from losing those silly 4 pounds?
LB What makes you bored
RB Housework. I hate how much housework there is on Saturday and there is that refrigerator full of good stuff.
LB oh. Yeah. I know that feeling. Lordy - it takes SO long to clean that house and you're right - food is such a temptation when it's that close. but I have an idea... think about it and see if you like it. What if I pack a lunch on Saturday morning just as if it were a work day - a good lunch with enough food but within the calorie range we need to stay. And we could pretend it's not really saturday, but oh, say, Thursday at work?
RB Hmmm. I like that idea. And we'd take the lunch bag outside and eat on the porch.
LB Sure There's something else coming up - Business conference in the city
RB I know. I've been worried about that.
LB what would help you keep away from the bagels and cream cheese and cookies?
LB Hmmm. The best time for shopping would be before we go to the meeting. If I buy stuff ahead of time can you keep your hands out of the cookie plate?
RB You'll have to remind me.
LB I can do that. If I see our hand reaching for the cookies I will say "Shopping Spree" and we'll pull it back.
RB Ok. I like that idea.
LB Feel calmer now?
RB Yeah. Yeah I feel great!
RB you betcha!
150 lbs - here we come.