Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Yesterday I felt fat. I pointed this out to my husband, who got that panic stricken 'Oh my word, how do I respond to this' look on his face, and then asked me when last I had tracked my food. 'I'm not sure,' was my reply. He then said (very carefully) ' Well, you seem to be getting all emotional about your eating, and if you go back to tracking you'll be taking the emotion out of your eating and that might help you.'
I hadn't thought about tracking like that, but he had a point. When I track what I eat I don't find myself thinking 'this will make me fat' or 'this is so bad for me' or 'if I keep eating like this I will blow up like a balloon all over again'. I can't, because the numbers are telling me whether I've eaten within my calorie range, or not, and I know that if I eat within my calorie range I will either lose weight or stay the same, and if I eat more I will gain weight. That angry little voice in my head can't argue these facts.
I think that tracking my food stopped the knee jerk emotional reaction to food that I suffered from, and that was one of the reasons I was successful.
So, I started tracking again. Already, a day later, I feel less guilty about food. I know for certain whether I have eaten too much, or can manage a little bit of ice cream after dinner. And, much to my husbands relief, I don't feel fat anymore......