Bursitis, boys, and bounty
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I ramped up my exercise around August 1. My sister and I started walking/jogging about an hour a day (sometimes more), 6-7 days/week, and by the end of the month, my hip was really hurting. At my annual, my doctor warned me it could be serious (stress fracture, etc) and scared me into taking a break from exercise to see if it heals. After about 2 weeks of *much less* exercise (although I didn't totally stop walking), it was still aching a lot, so I saw an orthopedic doctor yesterday. He diagnosed me with bursitis, and referred me to a specialist. The specialist today also diagnosed me with gluteus medius syndrome, which is usually a grade 1 or grade 2 strain of the tendon attaching the gluteus medius muscle (over the outer hip) to the femur. The doctor suggested that the damage to my left hip may be due to the fact that my right hip muscles are weak, so the left may be overcompensating. He prescribed an anti-inflammatory and physical therapy for the next 4-6 weeks. My first appt is in two days! I hope I learn a lot of ways to strengthen up, stretch better, heal well, and prevent this from happening again in the future!
After the breakup with my ex-BF last month, I've been gaining a lot of perspective. Looking back, I am getting to a place where I am feeling grateful for the relationship and yet accepting of the fact that it needed to end. I learned a lot about how to be in a long-term relationship (at 11 months, it was my longest), as well as some of the qualities I do and don't want in a partner, and how I deserve to be treated. That said, I'm now diving head first into the choppy dating waters again! Woo, boy, it's exciting to be meeting new people and putting myself out there!
I've been thinking a little about the fear of scarcity, and how it affects my life. I grew up very poor, and I remember feeling like there was never enough money - to buy decent clothes, or to fit in with my classmates who lived in the nicer neighborhood, or to know that the bills would get paid and my parents wouldn't need to argue, or to allow my dad to spend time with me instead of working 24/7. Feeling scarcity around the issue of money seems to be associated with so much in my life - I find myself feeling guilty anytime I throw away even a bite of food (and turning down free food is SO HARD!!). Also, I have a hard time when I want or need to spend money on myself (like the $150 deductible I'm having to pay for my physical therapy, plus $25 copay per session - yikes!!). Why can't I prioritize myself and my health, when I can afford it? How much in savings do I need in order to feel safe? Will I ever feel safe enough, wealthy enough?
I know I need to shift my thinking. Money can't make me safe. It wouldn't have stopped my parents from arguing and healed their relationship. Having money now won't bring back those years of missing my dad's presence in my life. Money can't prevent injury, or find me a loving partner (beyond paying for an eHarmony membership), or make me happy. I want to shift my thinking to focus on the bounty of life. I have ENOUGH. Enough to buy what I need (including healthy food, and physical therapy!), enough to live comfortably, enough to save some for retirement. Can I focus on where I have enough? And more than just financially - can I see the bounty of love in my life, and in my own wholeness? Where I, personally, am enough? Where I have enough love, where I am loveable enough, as I am? I'm working on seeing the bounty rather than the scarcity in my life.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Good luck dipping your toes back into the dating pool. Take it slow! My Momma always said, "It's not what you have in life but what you make of it."
1856 days ago
Our childhoods definitely define who we are and how we live our lives. Mine was screwed up and I'm still trying to deal with a lot of it.
Never jeopardize your health, that will always come first.
eHarmony works, my BFF met her husband through there...good luck, your special someone is out there waiting for you to find him.
1856 days ago
Good luck with your bursitis. Take care of you. You ARE worth the cost of physical therapy!!!
I didn't grow up wealthy at all, but there was always abundant love in our home. I am very blessed for that. I had to get over the "clean plate syndrome" too. It is very difficult and still have to work on that.
YOU are worthy of being a priority1
And good luck to you getting back into the dating world. I have been married for almost 24 yrs. . . . got married @ 34. Lesson I learned . . . if it's to be, it will be. I went for so long not dating at all, but found that was the time I used to reall develop MYSELF, my career. So, it wasn't such a bad thing as I though @ the time.
Hang in there.
1857 days ago
Wow, your life is really going through some changes. I know from experience that strengthening the muscles around the affected area can really help. Hope you get some relief soon. Although other muscles might start "talking" as you start to use them more.
I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out, but it sounds like you learned from it and know better what you want need and can look for those qualities.
Looking at life's bounties is a great idea. It's one I need to work on more myself. So often I get caught up in the I cant's or I wish I could... I also am a charter member of the clean plate club and know what you mean about how hard it is to leave food on the plate. Although I am getting better about it, it is still a big challenge. I also have a hard time turning down free... anything. I was taught to take whatever and be gracious about it whether I really want it or not.
Sounds like you are doing better! Keep moving forward.
1859 days ago
well said star and ruby,
Being positive can really help
we had a challenge the other week to so this for a week, it was nice to focus on posirive
1860 days ago
I love the idea of focusing on your bounty, not your scarcity. So often, we (pointing finger at myself, here) think about what we don't have, focus on what is NOT in our lives, and not what IS in our lives. This is something I have to work on on a daily (minute by minute, second by second, some days!) basis. If you're like me, this process will be a lifelong one, but it can bear such wonderful fruit if you consistently work on it.
1860 days ago
I know just what you mean about growing up poor. We never had much money as my dad was always in and out of work. I grew up wearing second hand clothes most of the time. Probably why I have such a hard time buying clothes! Also, my parents were always telling me to eat every scrap on my plate and I also find it difficult to throw food away or turn down "free" food.
As for your bursitis, I can thoroughly recommend the supplement called serrapeptase. I buy mine from Amazon. I have recommended this to other people too, who have also found a benefit. You have to take it for about two weeks before it kicks in and you always take it on an empty stomach.
Hope the dating goes well!
1860 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
More Blogs by FLUTTEROFSTARS