Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I've been having a hard time focusing on specifically weight loss. It's frustrating to try to set a goal only to have to change it due to changes in muscle or the first few weeks of school getting you off track. I like having number goals but at the same time it's so silly. I go back and forth on being disgusted and feeling the need to lose 20+ pounds and feeling awesomely fit and not caring about the scale.
As you guys may have discovered fitness in my passion and my love. and I feel like I am more than at a healthy point even though I may technically be at the border line 'over weight' category, I can assure you without a doubt that it really is this crazy muscle I have. (body fat proves it). I may not be at the point where my body should be and I won't deny that I would like to slim down not only for aesthetic reasons but also for fitness reasons, but at the same time I firmly believe fitness shouldn't be about weight loss. I can't even bring myself to talk about weight loss and calories in the fitness classes I teach. I know most of those girls are there because they think they need to lose weight and every time people ask me for weight loss advice I just want to tell them that there's more to fitness and to life than calories and pounds...
I randomly stumbled on this picture from xc last year, the first thing I noticed was that my arms look so ridiculously toned (if I'm allowed to make that observation, it just makes me feel like a beast). But on to the real thoughts I wanted to share. And for the record, I don't mean this to sound conceited in anyway, these are just thoughts I wanted to write, if not to share with you but also for myself.
I have so many emotions tied to that picture, but I won't go too in depth about them. It was the finish of my first 6k, I seriously blew those girls behind me away, I ran with all my heart even though my knee was killing me and I was in an insane amount of pain by the time that picture was taken. It was probably my best race. I've been thinking about it lately and I think the only think I miss about being on the team is being able to express my passion. Still, every time I run I run with my heart and I feel like that picture shows that, it shows the desire, the struggle, the passion, the emotion. I am so passionate about running it hurts to try to describe. I know I sound crazy, I just really can't wait to be running some serious distance again. I'm all giddy just thinking about it.