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Weight Loss Before Surgery - Day 8/80 (Big Decision)


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

First of all, the weight loss is going great. I am sticking to my plan, despite a couple of slips. I am determined to see this through, it helps knowing that I have to face my doctors. One thing at a time ya know.

I am facing a tough decision, one that I am not ready for, one that terrifies me. I have decided to take a medical leave from work. It is not fair to them that I keep calling in, but I can't do it anymore, the pain is too much. I can't help but feel like a complete failure. To be honest, I don't know how I am going to survive financially, how my family is going to survive financially. We are in the Lords hands, but I admit that I am struggling to trust right now. With this decision, I have no intention of wasting time. I am going to throw myself into school, losing weight, getting healthier. Hopefully, things will either level off and I will be able to go back sooner than later or it will not take long for me to get a job that will be more suited to my needs. It feels like this carousel is spinning out of control right now and I am just hanging on for dear life and trying not to fly off. I need to trust, I know that I need to trust, but everything about this scares me to death.

Lord, help me. I am so tired of this. Sigh.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ILIKECACTI 9/18/2012 8:41AM

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CHALLENGER15 9/18/2012 7:22AM

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BLUEKITTYJAN 9/18/2012 2:47AM

    Because you ask, God will help. You will be blessed, not in your time but in his. Keep the faith through all things. It is hard to know where God is when your in pain but know he is with you through it all. emoticon

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