losing a bit of confidence

Monday, September 17, 2012

today i weighted myself, to my suprise i am down to 210. i always thought i would feel happy about the loss, but instead i felt as if its got to be a fluke. as if i will wake up tomorrow and i would have gone up again. maybe i will, i dont know, but it is sad that i cant enjoy the loss. my dad who is just trying to help, is quick on stating that i am only obese because i wanted to be, mostlikely he is right. i saw what was happening to me and my body, but it was as if i knew the problem was getting worse, but did not know how to stop it. doctors did not help, they all just suggested i eat less. even when i kept a food jornal that proved that i was not a human vacuum they still claimed that i must be lying. and now i have lost 5 pounds in1 week and still i cant get the joy because all i feel is the blame and the shame. i want to believe in myself, i want to gain my self worth and be healthy for my children, but i guess this road is just not going to be so easy as that. i suppose deep down, eventually, i knew that i was going to have to face the truth, before i reach my goal, my desired destination, i am just going to have to also face all the skeletons in my closet the helped me become as obese as i was and loss control of the woman i really am and the mother i was destined to be.
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  • DEEJON123
    Pull up your boot straps and have some confidence!! You have lost some weight, that should be a good motivator to keep going. It doesn't change the world, but over time it will change your attitude about yourself. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER NOR ANYONE ELSE WHO CHOOSES TO PUT YOU DOWN. Sorry to say it, but perhaps he is part of the reason for a weight problem, he should be boosting your up, not trying to find something insulting to say. You should tell him and anyone else who tries to put you down it is unecessary and hurtful behaviour and hardly puts them in a good light !!!

    1951 days ago
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