Monday, September 17, 2012
I certainly don't need reminders that I'm overweight, but I get them all of the time. Sometimes I feel as if I have this big target on my back, just asking to be kicked. Well, on Saturday night I got kicked again when we met two other couples for dinner. The six of us sat at a booth, and despite the fact that I DID FIT, one of the men asked ONLY me if I would like to move to a table! I stared at him at first, then in my most matter of fact voice asked "no, why would I want to move"? He didn't answer.
This is not an isolated occurrence, it happens most of the time. It makes me feel different from the other people at the table and not normal. But most of all it hurts!!! Anymore, when we go out with other people, I just wait for the crappy comment, and I'm rarely waiting for long.
About once a month my husband and I get together with his cousin and the cousin's girlfriend for brunch. If the cousin gets there first he gets a booth, and yes, I DO FIT into the booth. However, it doesn't stop our cousin from asking ONLY me if I have 'enough room'? It's so predictable that I just wait for him to say it every time. I respond with a very curt "I have plenty of room". Needless to say, the cousin is a chunker as well, but I've NEVER said a cruel or hurtful thing to him! I've tried to out-smart him by arriving 20 minutes early and getting a table, thinking that now he has nothing to say. Wrong. He has even asked me while I'm seated in a chair that I PULL UP TO THE TABLE, if 'I have enough room'. I looked at him like he was nuts, and asked him 'why'.
We traveled with them ONCE, and believe me, that's all it took for me to tell my husband - NEVER again! He agreed. We went on a Canadian, New England cruise, which left from New York. Since we all live in Florida, we all had to fly north first. I booked a window seat for myself, only to be told by the cousin that I won't fit because I'm TOO WIDE! Yes, you did read that! He suggested that I get the aisle seat like him because I'll have more room. All I could think about leading up to the trip was - oh PLEASE let me fit.. I kept my window seat and I did FIT! Take that you jerk!
I don't know WHY people feel the need to do this. It makes me feel like I'm not like everyone else. I sometimes feel like I'm trapped in this fat suit that I can't wait to be able to unzip, and step out of. I don't want to feel like some target that's being scrutinized and judged. I'm tired of being hurt by insensitive comments and made to feel different.
Does this ever happen to you???