Monday, September 17, 2012
Don't mind me - just here to rant and rave and then I'll move along.
oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy gooooooooooooooooooooosh! Why is this taking so freaking long??????????? I cant believe how SLOW this weight is coming off. I was just looking back at my weight loss tracker and I'm down like 5lbs give or take over a month. I know it's progress but that is just not good enough for me. And right now I'm up almost 3lbs which I'm hoping and praying is just related to TOM - thats why i was looking at my weight loss tracker to begin with. Because I've been staying pretty consistent with my eating so i dont think i should've gained anything. But still with this extra 3lbs, I'm right about where I was about a month ago.
I'm just continually amazed and astounded with how difficult this process is. And i dont think its like that for everyone. I read some of the stories from motivational spark members and its like "oh i just started walking and counting calories and the weight just started to fall off" That is not how it has worked for me EVER. I feel like I have fought and struggled for every pound and every time I slipped up at all, the weight came right back. I even have this real life friend who just started cutting out junk food a few months ago and already lost 30lbs and shes not even trying all that hard! what the heck?! its taken me like 2 YEARS to get down 40lbs.
I'm so frustrated!! I dont know if i screwed my metabolism up as a teenager and thats why its so difficult or if im delusional and i think im doing better than i actually am. But I cant be any more committed than i am right now. I mean really, this is me trying my best. I feel confident about that. If i get any more obsessive about it- I'll lose my mind. I have kids, a job, a life-- I cant devote every thought to figuring out how to get the weight off.
I have a good plan that i try to follow - and do like 80-90% of the time and I'm trying to work out regularly. This week I did really well in both areas. And I know that I am losing. I just want to rip my hair out over how slowly.
I'm never gonna meet my goal by Feb and that is breaking my heart. I dont know what else to do other than what I am doing. and I know no one really has an anwsers. I wish i could afford like a personal guru to track my every move and show me all the errors of my ways but - thats not the life i lead so -- i am where i am.
anyway, i just had to get that off my chest. thanks, i feel a little better - but not much.