Sunday, September 16, 2012
I'm finding that as I'm changing to focus more of my attention to my needs, others in my life are not so happy about the fact I'm not always available whenever they need/wamt something. Being a people-pleaser all my life, I am uncomfortable when people are unhappy with me and usually cave in - giving up what I planned to do what they want. This week I had 2 incidents where I didn't cave! Yay! Progress!
The first was when I planned to take a walk around the park. Usually takes me 10-15 min. After I put on my shoes and went outside, my hubster wanted me to help him clean the garage first. My temper snapped a bit and I said 'No! This is MY priority!' and walked to the park. Took a longer walk than planned to blow off my steam. Felt great standing up for myself and getting in the exercise. Then helped clean the garage.
The second was I had an early work conf call and my pre-op surgery appt, a 2 hr drive. To make both, I had to leave my house at 5 a.m. and take the call in the dr parking lot. My friend wanted me to take her daughter to school because she had to go into the office early and her husband was going home early to get kid from field trip. I work from home, so usually not a problem. But was a conflict this day. She explained her situation, I explained mine and offered to pick up kids in p.m. so her hubby could go in late and take her kid to school. She was not happy with that and kept 'nicely pressing' me abt my plans and possibility for changing them. When I didn't change, she told me don't worry, she'd figure it out. Words were ok, but the way they were said and tone of voice made my guilt meter go way up. In the past, I would have changed my plans to accomodate.
The thought that I'm doing for myself what I need for the rest of my life kept coming back to me. It helped me stay nice, but firm about keeping to my plans.
I read in 'Eat it Up' by Connie Stapleton, that as we get healthier about relationships, we will find that we will have to let go of those that don't support our progress and well-being. I hope this isn't one of those for me!
Today I'm keeping focused on my long term goal of good health- both mental and physical!