Doing This Alone
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Considering how long I have been working to change my life, it dawned on me how alone I have been in all this. While reading an article today about how having a supportive network helps aid in weight loss and maintaining said weight loss, I realized I don't really have a network. My boyfriend is supportive, he bought my gym membership, heart rate monitor, motivates me to go exercise, and eats my healthy meals (even though he stays skinny regardless of diet!). But he truly is the only one that helps me, and even then when he is at work he eats McDonald's and such because he is away from home and can get away with it.
My family on the other hand (all of which are overweight/ obese) show absolutely no interest in eating healthy or exercising, yet they ridicule me for doing so! My father, who has existing health issues related primarily to his weight, is the worst. He picks at me when I pack my own food to family functions, or won't eat out with them, and cracks jokes about me whining that I didn't make it to the gym. My mom on the other hand shows interest in working out with me and trying to change her eating habits but what success can she have living in a home where no one else will.
It is really discouraging at times when they make me feel silly for eating right and exercising. Makes me wonder why I even try, and when I try to talk to them about it, they shut me out and completely close their minds to it! Every time there is a snide comment or fried food shoved under my nose a little more of my strength to keep pursuing this life chips away.
I always try to remind myself this isn't about them, it is about me and providing a healthier me for my darling Scarlett. I look at the struggle I am having now trying to learn how to eat healthy, and remind myself that if I don't stick with this, she could be me in 20 years..over weight and struggling to figure it all out. I want to be able to go out and play with her without getting winded, and I want her to be able to rely on me to be able to help her practice sports should she play one, and most importantly I want her to know I will live long enough to watch her reach all her milestones in life. It amazes me sometimes that my parents did/do not want that for us and their grandkids.
Motivates me even more!