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    NELLJONES   335,940
300,000-349,999 SparkPoints

But I LOOOOOVVVVE it so!!!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

We have all read stories of women who continue to live with abusive husbands. They come back from another visit from the emergency room, he says he'll change, they believe it.....until the next inevitable time. And those of us watching all wonder "Why doesn't she just leave?" And she will tell us that she LOOOOVVVVES him and just knows he loves her and won't hurt her again. It's never intentional. And it always happens again. And she stays for more. And we observers are astounded that she doesn't see what we see.

Yet some people treat their food the same way. The food beats us up, leaves us sick and unhealthy, yet we stay because we just LOOVVE it so much! We swear it will be different the next time, and it never is. We can't swear out a warrant on pizza. There are no government services to protect us from Big Macs. We have to find the courage (and it takes courage in any of these situations) to just leave, find a safe place, surround ourselves with safe foods, and safe people (like Spark) that can protect us from something that is hurting us every day.

I am able to stay at goal because I still see certain foods as evil, as dangerous, and I avoid them because they are a threat to my health, my goal, and everything I want to be. I know there are people who say that if you forbid yourself something you will crave it more. That isn't any safer with certain foods than it is with an abusive spouse. Love isn't enough to make it safe. I had to make a clean break with Reeses, then find the life that came next. And a wonderful life it is!

Cheetos won't break my jaw, but is obesity any better? Or safer? It isn't as immediate, but the danger is surely there. And I avoid it for my own safety.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
RICHARJ 12/27/2012 3:58PM

    P O W E R F U L!!!

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PICKYNICKI 10/18/2012 5:22PM

    What a powerful blog! Thank you so much for your truthfully "spoken" words!

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SLENDERMAMA1 9/28/2012 7:17PM

    very inspiring blog


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EBURGITE 9/28/2012 11:31AM

    great perspective. thanks for sharing.

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ALIX_P 9/27/2012 8:49PM

    Never thought of it this way, but it's really true. Also, I agree that some foods are just evil, at least for me, because when I have one bite, I just want more. I think this one may be different for everyone.

I read a suggestion a long time ago to keep a bag of hershey's kisses around and just limit yourself to 5 kisses a day. Yeah Right! That bag would be gone in an hour--I'd keep reaching into the cupboard thinking, "oh just one more won't hurt" until they were all gone.

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 9/27/2012 1:40PM

    That's exactly how I feel. Beat up by my food and it's my fault cuz I keep going back. Sigh.

Great blog!

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SUZYMOBILE 9/27/2012 12:49PM

    Well said! I do believe, though, that there are no evil foods, as long as you acknowledge how much of them you're eating and count them. Many foods aren't inherently evil; they just aren't worth the calorie investment.

Comment edited on: 9/27/2012 1:49:52 PM

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COLOMAGIRL 9/22/2012 6:50PM

    Beautifully written.

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MKELLY72 9/20/2012 10:34AM

    I love this analogy. I can relate on both levels, and I actually tap into the same strength that it took me to leave my unhealthy relationship 10 years ago to tackle my unhealthy relationship with food. This blog just forced me to expand on that perspective that I hope helps me to avoid additional incidents like one I had last night with a double serving of ice cream that left me feeling sick. Most of the time, I am able to treat myself without going overboard, but occasionally I return to my abuser, and I was asking myself last night, "what is wrong with me?"...I know better, and I have worked so hard to treat myself better, and I wonder what triggered that binge.
Thank you!

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AUTUMNBRZ 9/19/2012 11:21AM

    Great analogy!

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FARRAH511 9/19/2012 8:57AM


´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
((¸¸.•´ ..•´ - -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´* Farrah -:¦:-

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JANEMARIE77 9/17/2012 1:48PM

    Was just checking out your page I really like this thought it works for me Thanks

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DDOORN 9/17/2012 10:05AM

    I am SO WITH YOU on your analogy...! Others who can manage to be moderate with all foods, especially trigger foods, they have my admiration. But I just don't think I'm wired that way and doubt I can ever develop those psychological "muscles"...!


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PURPLELVR7 9/17/2012 8:06AM

    Thank you for sharing your analogy. Not sure I agree on all points, but you do make some very good points.

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FISHINGLADY66 9/16/2012 8:53PM

    emoticon Blog

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DAISYBELL6 9/16/2012 8:18PM

    Interesting blog! I'll have to think about this a bit.

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KAYYVAUGHN 9/16/2012 7:01PM

    Thanks for the good advice, and you are right Nell. We really need to do away with certain foods.

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 9/16/2012 5:00PM

    Well put! Excellent analogy! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Fabulous blog - thanks for posting it - I love your analogy - I have abused my own body for so long - I am the perpetrator!!

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PJ2222 9/16/2012 12:19PM

    Great observations!

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ZEEDRA 9/16/2012 11:57AM

    So happy I came across this. As others said above: it's an amazing comparison.
Yes...we keep come back for more of the abuse thinking "this time it will be different...I'll stop it before it escalates." Ha!
I'm going to make this into a poster for my wall over my computer.
Thanks, Nell, for reminding us of the insane rationalizing.

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MEXGAL1 9/16/2012 11:02AM

    awesome comparison and very well thought out.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Have a terrific Sunday.

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JEANNE229 9/16/2012 8:42AM

what an astute blog! GREAT comparison. Puts our "abuse" in perspective.

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NASFKAB 9/16/2012 8:07AM

  Awesome great thanks for pointing it out

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NUTRON3 9/16/2012 6:44AM

    Wow, never thought of it that way

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ILOVEMALI 9/16/2012 4:20AM

    Interesting analogy!

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MEDDYPEDDY 9/16/2012 1:56AM

    This was great! But... I left alcohol once I understood it was abusive to me, I left nicotin for the same reason but I can´t leave food. I can leave certain foods - and I agree that they are "evil" - but I still have not worked out the whole list and whenever I get tricked the evil ones comes barging in as well...

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SPIRIT42013 9/15/2012 11:36PM

    You've got that right! I was/am that woman... emoticon

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ELSCO55 9/15/2012 10:57PM

    An interesting blog.

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WATERMELLEN 9/15/2012 8:45PM

    Terrific blog! Some people seem to be able to do "moderation" with potato chips etc . . . but I'm not one of them!

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LADY_MARIANA 9/15/2012 3:13PM

    What a great blog; it gives me a superb reference now for those foods with which I have an abusive co-dependent relationship. And I have so many foods that never did hurt the heart that loves them--carrots, apples, and many others. I love your clear analogy.

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GABY1948 9/15/2012 2:46PM

    Thank you for a VERY inspiring blog! You are so right and I love the way you compared it to something we can all understand! Have a GREAT weekend!

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WILLOWBROOK5 9/15/2012 1:25PM

    I love this analogy!!! So true. I plan to think of your words if I find myself wanting to make unhealthy choices with food or not exercising. Thanks!

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