2+ year Spark Member Writes First Blog!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
This has been an interesting week for me. My weight is up a few pounds, though exactly the same as September 3rd when I last weighed myself at home. And I need to weigh-in for my job before September 24th.
And that weigh-in is never pretty because it is fully dressed, with shoes, pockets full of work tools and pens, and with a jacket (or even winter coats and boots). There is an upper limit of 220 pounds. Right now I couldn't make that weight even if I were naked!
And I am stressed about this weigh-in. But it happens quarterly .I know it's coming. I have stressed about each for the past 18 months or so.
Then Wednesday I needed to do laundry--but I didn't. After my shower, I was trying to find something to wear--that fit. I tried on several pairs of pants that normally fit--but today did not. Now, I did get dressed and I did do laundry. But I kicked around stopping a Kohl's to buy a bigger pair of pants to "get me by" till I lose the same 5 pounds I have been playing with all year. Probably last year and the year before too.
I remember hearing a TV news team talking about cookies. The lady stated she hadn't had a cookie all year. I can't remember the last time I turned a cookie down. Even when dieting, I allow myself indulgences. No wonder my weight is up and my self esteem and confidence are in the crapper!!
So I am wondering: is this my rock bottom? Am I finally ready to commit to losing weight and becoming healthy? Or am I still just "hoping" the weight will come off. Because I know from past experiences that doesn't happen for me!!
Oh friends! Wish me well!